The silence isn't an accident. There are two reasons a man won't tell you the truth about sex, and neither one is laziness. The first is that he's learned honesty gets him punished — one honest note and many women spiral, go cold, or never repeat the thing again, so he defaults to "you're amazing" and keeps the rest to himself. The second is sweeter: he feels lucky to be there, and women have a real advantage in the bedroom, where almost any way you move reads as soft and sensual. Between the man who won't risk it and the man who's too smitten to notice, you end up guessing.

So I take the guessing away. We start with the silence-versus-performance trap and how to find the middle — the real, involuntary sounds that beat anything you could manufacture. From there: why participation isn't optional (don't be the pillow princess), how to use your body with intention instead of letting it go rigid, and how your insecurities pull you out of the room and drain the charge before either of you notices. I get blunt about "less armor, more you," about grooming and the health checkups no one will mention to your face, and about your "won't" list — the pile of small restrictions that slowly kills a man's will to even try.

The last two are the ones that change everything: why a single orgasm is the beginning and not the ceiling, and how to stay present with him at the exact moment most women disappear inside their own heads. That last shift is the line between sex and intimacy — and intimacy is what makes a man the kind of partner who keeps coming back.

If this resonates and you want to take it deeper, book a one-on-one session with me at Closeness.com. For the companion piece on his side of the bed, watch How to Properly Have Sex With a Man: https://closeness.com/sex-with-a-man

Further reading on the female sexual response cycle: https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/sexual-response-cycle

If the sex isn't good now, it is not going to get better after the wedding.

That's not a cynical take. It's not a scare tactic. It's what Tari has watched happen to more couples than he can count — two people who genuinely love each other, who are wonderful friends, who have built a beautiful life together, and who have always had a bedroom that was just a little quiet. And they told themselves the same thing every engaged couple tells themselves: once the wedding stress is over, once we settle in, it'll open up. It'll get better.

It doesn't get better. It freezes. And then, slowly, it compounds — because now there's an obligation in the room. Now there's familiarity. Now there's the unspoken pressure that says "this is the only person I'm supposed to want," and that pressure is the enemy of desire itself.

In this episode, Tari addresses what nobody says before the rehearsal dinner: that the wedding ring is not a sexual education. That the legal commitment doesn't install the knowledge of how to make your partner feel desired. That the honeymoon doesn't unlock it.

He also asks the question that most of us quietly sidestep: do you feel genuine, almost involuntary desire for this person — the pull, the electricity, the thing that makes you reach for someone because you simply cannot help it?

This is Episode 1 of Sex After Marriage, a series that goes places most people won't. It's for the newly engaged, the recently married, and the couple twenty years in who still haven't named what's quietly been missing.

For one-on-one coaching on intimacy and desire in your relationship, visit Closeness.com. And to hear the follow-up — what actually happens in the bedroom after the vows — [watch Episode 2 of Sex After Marriage here].

This is the women's companion to "5 Things Men Need to Know When She Needs Space." Tough love, the loving kind: 5 ways to take the space you need without losing the man you want to keep — how to name your terms, why vanishing backfires, the phrases to retire, and the tender moment when you just need to be quiet.

CHAPTERS

0:00   We need to talk, ladies

0:44   Why this keeps happening to you

1:39   Rule one: quantify the time

2:53   Space is holy — the vanishing act isn't

4:12   The vacuum you create when you vanish

6:24   Breakup grenades disguised as kindness

8:12   A quick word

8:38   Real space vs. a performance

10:25  Take space like a woman who keeps love

11:48  When you're just sad, not leaving

Most men in long-term relationships have quietly given up on flirting — not because they don't want to, but because somewhere along the way it felt awkward, got shut down, or got buried under the comfort of everyday life. The problem is she's still waiting for it. She's still hungry for the moment you look at her like you mean it.

In this episode, Tari breaks down masculine flirtation from the ground up — what it actually looks like, why it's nothing like feminine flirting, and how to layer it back into your relationship starting today. No scripts, no tricks. Just presence, tone, and the willingness to be a little uncomfortable at first.

In this episode: why men stop flirting and what it costs · what masculine flirtation actually looks like · eye contact, tone and physical proximity done right · the layering process — how to build, not force · why comfort kills chemistry · how to start small and build from there · what her response tells you and how to keep it going.

#relationships #intimacy #sexcoach #marriageadvice #couples #sexualenergy #datingadvice #longTermRelationship #menandwomen #closeness

This isn't about being too silly. It's about never having been given a model for masculine erotic presence — and compensating with behavior that quietly kills sexual tension. Tari explains what's actually driving the deflection, what women are asking for when they want a man to "show up," and gives two actionable, body-based shifts any man can start using immediately.

In this episode, Tari from Closeness breaks down one of the most painful and misunderstood dynamics in long-term relationships: the slow, silent exit. What it looks like from her side. What it feels like from his. And why the gap between those two experiences causes so much devastation.

This episode covers the four most common reasons couples break up — infidelity, abuse, codependency, and growing apart — and then goes deep on the fourth, which is by far the most nuanced and the least discussed. What happens when two people are good together in almost every way, but one partner — usually the woman — has quietly outgrown the relationship sexually and emotionally, and doesn't know how to say it without blowing everything up?

Tari addresses both sides directly. For women: why staying silent to avoid hurting your partner is not the kindness it feels like, and what it actually costs both of you. For men: why chasing harder when she pulls away almost never works, what to do instead, and how to find your footing when the ground disappears beneath you.

This is also an honest conversation about how women process differently — why a man can be blindsided by something his partner has been sitting with for years, and why that gap in awareness isn't a character flaw on either side. It's a pattern. And once you see it, you can't unsee it.

Whether you're in the middle of this right now, watching it happen slowly, or just want to understand how relationships actually unravel — this episode will give you real clarity, not platitudes.

Visit closeness.com to work with Tari directly, join the private Telegram group, or explore the full video library.

Are you a highly sexual woman who has never quite gotten the sex you actually want? You’re not alone — and it’s not your fault. In this episode, Tari from Closeness introduces the concept of the highly sexual woman, or HSW — a woman whose sexual nature is intense, real, and largely hidden. Not because she’s repressed or broken, but because the men in her life were never equipped to bring it out of her. A highly sexual woman doesn’t always look the part. She may present as calm, composed, even reserved. But underneath that exterior is a craving for intense, passionate, deeply connected sex that most men never get close to unlocking. Her desire often lives in fantasy, in private, unexpressed — sometimes for years. Sometimes for decades. In this episode you’ll learn what defines a highly sexual woman, why her sexuality often stays dormant in long-term relationships, and what it actually takes for a man to bring it out. Tari breaks down why good men often unintentionally suppress a woman’s sexuality, how a highly sexual woman responds to masculine presence and intensity, and why most couples never reach the level of sexual connection that’s actually possible for them. This episode is for the women who know there’s more — and for the men who want to give it to them. If you recognize yourself here, know that your sexuality is not something to be ashamed of, managed, or hidden. It’s something to be met. Tari works with highly sexual women and their partners to create the kind of sexual experience that most people only fantasize about. Visit closeness.com to book a session or strategy call.

It's been a while since we've posted an interview style format so we're bringing it backwith a bang! (So to speak) For regular listeners who are used to relationship oriented sexual material, don't worry there will still be plenty of that in future episodes. But for today's guest, Venus is here explore how to make a one night stand a special and fun experience.

Closeness also posts videos on all social media platforms. Follow us on

YouTube: YouTube.com/closeness

X and Instagram: @closenesscoach

TikTok: @IntimacyCoaching

Chapters:

0:00 Closeness is now on all social media platforms with videos and shorts

1:55 Introduction to Venus

7:43 Defining what exactly a One Night Stand is

10:55 Does she actually like them

12:45 Is people pleasing an inherently female trait?

14:19 Do you feel obligated to partake?

15:51 Do you like ONS?

16:25 The Kiss tells you everything

18:00 Other ways to tell it will be good

20:18 Is it all about a feeling or attraction or both?

21:38 What to avoid and what does it take to make a great one night stand?

25:27 Reasons why you may not want to do it

28:10 How to know if someone is going to be good or not?

30:48 Not all touch should be taken as an advance

32:55 there are two kinds of great one night stands

33:53 What is the recipe for men?

35:06 When there are fireworks on the dance floor

37:36 What women need to do to prepare for an ONS

40:06 Don't be selfish!

41:14 How do you have a passionate ONS that is connected

42:50 Final thoughts and summing up!

Photography by: Dominik Malik

The Pain of Feeling Undesired

When a woman feels rejected sexually, it’s not just about the lack of physical intimacy—it’s about the emotional toll it takes on her feeling unwanted. She may begin to question her worth, her attractiveness, and even the relationship itself. A hug and a peck hello won't be enough to salvage it.  Meaningful actions and effort are needed to make her feel truly wanted but more so in the sensual and sexual sense.

The Initiation Paradox

Many men struggle to initiate intimacy, while many women hesitate to take the lead for fear of being judged or feeling rejected themselves. This “initiation paradox” creates a frustrating stalemate that slowly erodes sexual connection. A woman’s sexual expression often mirrors what her partner inspires in her; if she feels ignored or undesired, her sensuality can wither. To move things forward, it’s essential to break this cycle by understanding her emotional needs and taking intentional steps to get that chemistry back.

Questions to Ask Yourself

If intimacy has stalled in your relationship, it’s time for some tough self-reflection. Effort is sometimes too strong of word, but are you putting in the effort or energy to make her feel desired? Are you addressing your own low libido or other barriers to connection? If you’re in a sexless or low-sex relationship, ask yourself whether this is a dealbreaker—or if you’re willing to put in the work to change the dynamic. Recognize that women still crave intimacy and fantasize about passion, even if the spark has dimmed in their own relationship.

This emotionally charged episode goes deep into the challenges of intimacy deprivation and offers actionable advice for reigniting connection and restoring balance.

Ready to Come Closer?

Listen now for insights on how to overcome mismatched libidos, rebuild desire, and create a more fulfilling relationship. Visit Closeness.com for more resources on intimacy and connection. 

Are you ready to come closer? 

CHAPTERS

0:00 Introduction

5:12 Disperate sex drives and libidos

8:35 Why can't women just initiate themselves?

9:35 Female Nature

12:27 No man wants a starfish. No woman wants someone who doesn't desire her

13:14 The initiation paradox

14:55 Words vs Actions

16:26 Men find it hard to initiate when

19:06 For things to work, women need to offer these secret ingredients

23:42 Mens false promises?

24:40 This is how it looks when a woman feels undesired

25:52 A hug and kiss is not the bare minimum

26:50 Damage control due to lack of promises

30:32 For men with low sex drives / libidos

38:00 If you can't imagine the previous recommendations, ask yourself these hard questions

44:30 Is lack of sex a deal breaker for you or your partner?

47:45 Understanding mens issue with too much consent

https://closeness.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/DONT-DEPRIVE-HER-OF-SEX.png What happens long-term when you deprive a woman of sex, intimacy and closeness? false no 01:00:26 No no https://closeness.com/podcast/how-to-inspire-a-woman-to-feel-sexy-and-sexual-towards-you/ Mon, 23 Sep 2024 21:10:47 +0000 https://cravecloseness.com/?post_type=podcast&p=7142 If you want to know how to make your wife feel sexy — really feel it, not just look it — this episode is the one to send to every man you know. Most men assume their job is to show up and respond. Wrong. The real work is in creating the conditions that awaken her desire: the right look, the right touch, the right energy, the right voice. Closeness coach Tari walks through exactly what that means — from the difference between a woman doing something for you versus doing it because she's genuinely turned on, to the art of directing a scene without barking orders or whispering into the sheets. This is not about tricks. It's about understanding how women actually work — and becoming the man who makes her feel wanted, led, and deeply, unapologetically sexy.

In this episode, we tackle 13 common barriers that can stand in the way of a thriving sexual connection with your partner. Whether it’s logistical issues, bad timing, or emotional disconnection, these roadblocks can quietly chip away at intimacy. The good news? Every one of these obstacles can be addressed easily, paving the way for better connection, desire, and satisfaction.

It’s Not Just About Desire—It’s About the Setup

Sometimes, logistics are the real problem. Are there too many pillows on the bed creating a barrier to even touch? Is your couch too small or your bed too uncomfortable for sex to happen? Even practical issues like pets sleeping on the bed or family members out staying their welcome can disrupt your ability to connect. It's easy to create a space that feels inviting, private, and comfortable. A lock on the door, rearranged furniture, or a cozy setup can work wonders.

From Platonic to Passionate

Another common roadblock is behaving too much like a platonic friend. If you’re not making sensual or sexual gestures beyond a quick peck or a hand on her shoulder—it’s hard to shift the energy toward intimacy. Sensual or sexual gestures need to happen on the regular. Women crave and need progressions that build tension and desire, so don’t just stop at a hug. Small, intentional actions, like lingering eye contact, touch, or even flirting, help reignite the spark and move you closer to a meaningful connection. In this episode you'll learn much more about how to act in a way that really gets her attention. 

Timing and Effort: Make It Count

Sex in long-term relationships requires effort—it won’t always feel spontaneous or like it happens on its own. Interestingly, women will constantly criticize a man’s “bad timing” without initiating intimacy themselves or letting him know what good timing actually is. Don't worry, we'll talk about that too. Good timing is actually a skill you can develop together.

Steady progress with visible changes

Intimacy is a journey, not a switch you flip that stays on forever. Don’t rush in expecting your partner to feel ready after minimal or no effort. Small progressions—playful teasing, seductive gestures, lingering touch, or shared laughter—lay the groundwork for deeper sexual connection. By addressing these roadblocks and taking thoughtful, intentional steps, you can transform your relationship and bring passion back into the bedroom.

Ready to Come Closer?

Learn how to identify and overcome the barriers standing between you and a more fulfilling sex life. Tune in now, and visit Closeness.com for more insights on intimacy, connection, and desire. 

Are you ready to come closer? 

CHAPTERS:

0:00 Introduction

3:42 1:Logistics

8:03 The three categories of affection

11:33 Logistical problem 1a: Your furnishings

13:37 Logistical problem 1b: Lovers can't find the time

14:12 2. Family, extended family and kids

15:58 3. No locks on your doors

18:30 4. The zoo that lives with you

19:57 5. Energy

22:35 Not wanting to. Needing it to feel natural

29:25 7. You're not there emotionally

32:01 8. She shuts down emotionally, feels defeated and broken

36:04 9. Your timing is off!

43:40 Often women don't even know what bad timing is

46:05 10. Pressure

50:]]> https://closeness.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/13-SEX-TIPS.png 13 Easy to fix roadblocks that are keeping you from having sex right now… and what to do about them false no 01:01:58 No no https://closeness.com/podcast/what-to-do-with-an-extra-horny-wife-or-girlfriend-when-your-libidos-are-mismatched/ Tue, 12 Dec 2023 04:41:47 +0000 https://cravecloseness.com/?post_type=podcast&p=6669 Ah the case of the extra horny wife!

What to do when your wife or girlfriend has a high sex drive and you’re struggling to keep up? This episode looks at one of the biggest challenges in relationships today. Whether you’re dealing with mismatched drives, low libido, or confusion about how to take the lead, this episode gives you actionable tips to handle the situation with confidence and connection.

Understanding the Problem

When a woman has a higher sex drive than you, frustration and discouragement can creep into the relationship. Sometimes, men have a low libido, feel shy, or simply don’t know how to initiate intimacy effectively. Lack of experience can also cause this situation to worsen even more so. 

Sometimes a man thinks he’s giving it his all in the bedroom,  but it will often read as a paltry attempt by his female partner and often still falls short of what his partner craves. Understanding this gap is key to bridging it—and it starts with being present, proactive, and a willingness to learn and take action as a man.

Take the Lead—Action Over Consolation

If your partner looks discouraged or unfulfilled, don’t wait for her to spell it out. And especially if she's frustrated sometimes, consoling her isn’t the solution... but seducing her may be. As a man, it’s essential to take action in suggestive and often sexual ways that she can read to show her that you desire her. Women often want their partner to lead with confidence and passion, and waiting for her to guide the experience, take the lead or show interest, can cause disconnection. Your willingness to take the initiative not only meets her needs but also deepens your connection.

The Role of Authentic Attraction

Here’s the hard truth: if you’re not physically attracted to your partner or genuinely desire her, the imbalance in your sex drives will only worsen. Authentic desire and attraction is critical for intimacy when it flows from a man to a woman. Otherwise you both are going to feel like you're doing her a favor.   While you can’t change your own libido drastically, you can work on fostering finding ways that you find her attractive.  

If you're a man used to doing grand gestures and showing her how much she means to you with fancy trips and gifts, this strategy may need to be revised. Remember, your sexuality and you desire for her in this dynamic is what she finds exciting. Yes, your needs and your sexuality matters too, but if you’re not engaged, the relationship may struggle to thrive.

This episode also sheds light on an often-overlooked dynamic: that women can and do pressure men for sex. For men navigating this challenge, knowing that it really is ok to say no is huge. But if you tell someone no all the time, there is something much deeper going on.

Ready to Come Closer?

Learn how to confidently navigate mismatched libidos, seduce with intention, and bring passion back into your relationship. For more tips and insights, visit Closeness.com. 

Are you ready to come closer? 

CHAPTERS

0:00 Intro and the types of relationships that are like this

2:34 Women who want it but their husbands drive is not there

3:42 You're trying, you're having good sex but it's still not enough for her

5:06 Thoughts on what to do if you have a very sexual wife or girlfriend

11:26 Distinguishing between a woman who doesn't want you vs someone who is turned off from you

15:02 If you're super aggressive or a non-affectionate man this doesn't apply

15:52 it's imperative as a man to take action if she has a high sex drive

https://closeness.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/SHES-TOO-HORNY-2.png What to do with an extra horny wife or girlfriend… when your libidos are mismatched true no 00:50:15 Yes no https://closeness.com/podcast/20-things-to-consider-when-dating-a-woman-who-has-children/ Sun, 19 Nov 2023 18:51:12 +0000 https://cravecloseness.com/?post_type=podcast&p=6008 In so many ways, dating a single mother is an entirely different experience compared to dating someone without children. In this episode, we explore the unique dynamics, challenges, and many rewards of stepping into a relationship with a single mother. From navigating your needs, to her unique priorities and needs to understanding her relationship dynamic with her ex, this episode breaks down the 20 essential things you need to know to make the relationship work—or decide if it’s the right fit for you.

When dating a single mother, her children will always come first, and rightfully so. From middle-of-the-night emergencies to the emotional minute by minute demands of raising kids, you have to be prepared for her attention to shift instantly away from you and the relationship when something goes wrong. If you’re someone who struggles with ranking lower on the totem pole or who feels competition around children, this dynamic might not be for you. You’re stepping into a pre-existing family system, not just a relationship.

Be Ready for Complexities

Single moms often carry the emotional weight of past relationships, whether it’s lingering emotional pain with an ex, very real divorce baggage, or balancing co-parenting arrangements. The question of whether her children like you or not can also have a huge impact on the relationship. And while single moms are often incredible caretakers, that care may be directed more toward their children than you. This dynamic requires understanding, patience, and creativity, especially when it comes to topics like discipline, finances, and meeting the extended family.

It’s important to recognize that stepping into a relationship with a single mom doesn’t mean stepping into a parenting role unless this is explicitly agreed upon. You don’t have to raise her kids, but being a support system to them and a friend to them can be phenomenally rewarding to everyone involved!

And while single moms may have high standards for their partner, you’re allowed to have your own (high) standards too. A relationship works when both partners feel supported, respected, and seen.

The Rewards of Connection

While dating a single mother has its challenges, it can also be deeply rewarding. Building a connection with her kids, even if they’re not yours, can bring immense joy and purpose to your life and this is something that most people cannot know until they've experienced it themselves.

Gaining emotional maturity, patience, and empathy for navigating this unique relationship dynamic will come with time. If you’re ready to embrace the complexities of loving a single mother, this guide will help you do it with care and intention.

Tune in to learn how to navigate dating and intimacy with a single mom while building a meaningful connection. For more tips on relationships and intimacy, visit Closeness.com.

Are you ready to come closer?

Chapters: 

0:00 Intro 

2:25 Disclosures 

3:45 Connecting with your children is not something that ever ends 

5:45  1. Anytime something goes wrong, it’s going to require mom’s instant attention 

7:06 A taste of my story 

9:50 2. Many women think their ex is crazy or a narcissist 

12:00 The usual disclaimers 

14:00 A contribution from a single mother 

15:57 3. The length of your commitment matters 

17:56 4. Her children must come first 

22:15 5. You can’t just come over 

23:29 5a. Sometimes you may rank last in terms of priority 

full 73 3 false no 01:11:38 No no https://closeness.com/podcast/the-incredible-experience-of-knowing-when-a-woman-is-in-love-with-you-and-how-to-reciprocate-back-15-ways/ Sat, 11 Nov 2023 18:41:38 +0000 https://cravecloseness.com/?post_type=podcast&p=5795 In this heartfelt episode of The Closeness Podcast, Tari explores the subtle yet profound ways a woman expresses love towards you and how to nurture that connection. Love isn’t just a feeling, you can also see it written all over her face, as well as in her actions and gestures towards you that reveal her affection and devotion. From admiring glances to shared laughter and vulnerably sharing herself with you, this episode offers 15 clear signs to help you recognize when a woman is truly in love with you and, more importantly, how to reciprocate that love in meaningful ways.

Love can be seen in the smallest details: the way she looks at you, her willingness to support you in tough times, or her playful texts and videos that show you she’s thinking of you. Whether it’s through physical intimacy, kind gestures like little notes or gifts, or her desire to spend time with you or be near in proximity to  you, feminine love manifests in actions that reflect her care and attention. Tari emphasizes that recognizing these signs requires presence and attentiveness, as love often speaks in whispers rather than grand gestures.

Love Is a Gift and a Responsibility

Feminine love also needs to be nurtured in return.  Reciprocating her love means being present, appreciating her unique ways of showing affection, and putting in the effort to keep the relationship thriving.  But unexpected areas like leading her, protecting her, and being decisive with her is important too.

Shared humor is another way to reciprocate but it's important to not always be sarcastic or cracking jokes at another expense. But playful banter, a little wit and wry humor can go a long way to make your connection feel fun and lively.

From her desire to be sexual with you to introducing you to her friends and family, a woman in love shows her affection in countless ways. This episode helps you decode her actions and highlights the importance of stepping into her perspective to understand how she experiences love. 

Ready to Come Closer?

Tune in to learn how to recognize, appreciate, and deepen love in your relationship. For more insights into intimacy and connection, visit Closeness.com.

Are you ready to come closer?

Chapters:

0:00 Introduction

7:23 1. When she's deferential towards you

14:26 2. She looks at you directly, frequently

16:47 3. The way that she looks at you

20:55 4. Admiration

24:12 5. Her desire to have sex with you

28:50 6. The way she'll have sex with you and what she's willing to do

35:30 Putting yourself in her position

41:12 7. Little notes and mementos

42:56 8. Gifts

45:57 9. She wants to talk to you and be near you all the time

48:30 10. She gives you her softness

50:47 11. She's more sexual and sensual outside of the bedroom

51:50 12. Exchanging videos, memes and all number of cute things

52:30 13. She shows up for you and is there when you need her

54:44 14. She loves to have fun with you and play with you

56:30 15. Her family and or friends know about you and love you or like you lots

To begin, do you know what it is? How would you describe it to someone? Far from a fleeting moment of attraction, sexual tension is a dynamic between you and your partner. An energy that is felt. A strong feeling. A deliberate energy that fuels desire, excitement, and intimacy in long-term and short term relationships alike. Whether you’re looking to reignite a spark or keep the flames burning, this episode breaks down why sexual tension matters and how to master it.

Another way to think of sexual tension is the unspoken, electrifying connection that builds anticipation and desire between partners- but ESPECIALLY for women. It’s not about rushing to the finish line but about creating a charged space where passion can thrive. For men, this often means embracing assertiveness, confidence, healthy dominance and masculinity in a way that engages their partner. For women, it’s about responding to that energy and feeling desired. Without this interplay, relationships can feel stagnant, leading to a drop in attraction and intimacy over time.

How to Build Sexual Tension

Keeping the spark alive requires intentional effort- and again usually on the part of the man. From maintaining steady eye contact to spontaneous, consensual touch, the art of creating tension and seduction can lie in subtlety. Non-verbal cues, intense or even mischievous, playful teasing, and a willingness to show your desire (instead of asking for it) all play a role.

Timing (another important thing to most women) is everything—knowing when and how to initiate intimacy is key to making your partner feel wanted without overwhelming her or taking her by surprise in a bad way. Remember, many women want to experience that rush of being taken or feeing desired—not asked for sex like a mother / child dynamic.  But the being taken part can only be done when trust and consent are firmly established.

Why Men Must Take the Lead

This episode highlights the differences in how men and women initiate intimacy. While men often hesitate or misinterpret cues, women are looking for confidence and decisiveness in their man. Women want to feel pursued, but that doesn’t mean bulldozing past boundaries. The solution? Lead with your energy, make your intentions clear with your CALM body language, and leave the overthinking to her. Sexual tension thrives when both partners lean into their natural dynamics, with men taking initiative and women responding to the energy.

Becoming a Sexual Being

To satisfy your partner fully, you have to embody your sexual energy—not as a forced persona, or actor, but as a natural extension of who you are. Sexual tension isn’t about planning or being mechanical and it's not about role playing; it’s about creating a playful, passionate buildup that keeps both partners excited. Whether you’ve been together for a year or a decade, becoming a sexual being is about consistently showing up with intention, curiosity, and confidence.

Ready to Come Closer?

This episode will teach you how to spark desire, keep intimacy alive, and master the art of sexual tension in your relationship. For more tips on creating passion and connection, visit Closeness.com. 

Are you ready to come closer? 

CHAPTERS

0:00 Intro

1:39 Men and women show sexual interest differently

3:41 Puppy dog love

8:34 Men and women initiate differently

12:33 What does it look like when a woman makes herself sexu]]> full 71 3 true no 00:58:59 Yes no https://closeness.com/podcast/understanding-how-your-partner-starts-fights-and-provokes-you-and-what-you-can-do-about-it/ Tue, 13 Jun 2023 03:47:54 +0000 https://cravecloseness.com/?post_type=podcast&p=5684 How to Navigate Conflict and Stop the Cycle of Petty Fights

As much as we want our relationships to be full of passion and connection, they can also be bogged down by repetitive, exhausting conflicts. In this dense yet insightful episode, we dive into the dynamics of how fights start, why some partners provoke or blindside you, and what you can do to handle conflict in a healthier way. Fighting over petty issues often leaves couples feeling drained, disconnected, and unsure of what they were even arguing about. Let’s unpack how to break that cycle and focus on building true intimacy.

The Root of Conflict: Repetition and Provocation

Most conflicts in relationships stem from repetitive actions or patterns—someone keeps doing something that bothers their partner, sometimes seemingly intentionally, without resolution. Some partners even unconsciously provoke fights to validate their own emotions, to make things "interesting" or gain control of the dynamic. Understanding this cause-and-effect loop is critical. Whether your partner is direct in their frustration or engages in 30 minutes of subtle bad behavior before finally blowing up, recognizing these patterns helps you respond with presence or confidence instead of defensiveness.

Why Vulnerability Is So Elusive

One of the biggest challenges in resolving conflict is that many people don’t know how to be vulnerable. Instead of opening up, they engage in psychological warfare, from blindsiding their partner with unrelated grievances to diving into text battles that escalate emotions without resolution. Your feelings are important and matter sure, but they don’t always need validation if they’re clouded by negativity or misinterpretation or are based in things that never happened. Healthy communication requires us to distinguish between intuitive insights and overreactions.

How to Navigate and De-escalate Fights

Defending yourself constantly and at every turn often escalates the situation instead of resolving it. Instead, put your attention on what’s working in your relationship rather than fixating on its shortcomings. That sounds so basic but it's extremely powerful and effective. Where is your attention?

But remember, you’re not obligated to tolerate bad behavior endlessly. Setting boundaries and not giving in to your pervasive desire to play the role of an armchair psychologist for your partner’s unchecked emotions is key to maintaining your own emotional well-being.

This episode is a masterclass in recognizing patterns, staying present, and disengaging from toxic cycles. It’s not about being infinitely patient but about creating space for accountability, understanding, and meaningful connection.

Ready to Come Closer?

Tune in now to learn how to approach conflict in a way that builds intimacy instead of tearing it down. For more tools on creating healthier relationships, visit Closeness.com.

Chapters:

0:00 Introduction

1:59 Conflict is usually the result of a repetitive action

3:20 Cause and effect

9:54 Some partners enjoy provoking you

11:10 Indirect vs direct: 20 minutes of bad behavior

24:02 Another 10 minutes of bad behavior

30:30 A logic based universe

32:30 When something parasitic occurs in the brain

37:22 No one actually knows how to be vulnerable today

  full 70 3 false no 01:11:42 No no https://closeness.com/podcast/closeness-interview-a-glimpse-into-a-millennial-military-spouses-marriage-could-this-also-be-your-relationship/ Mon, 13 Feb 2023 07:25:50 +0000 https://cravecloseness.com/?post_type=podcast&p=5647 Grappling with Intimacy: A Closeness Client’s True Story

In this unprecedented episode, we step into the intimate world of a Closeness client as she candidly shares her struggles with intimacy and her desire for dominance and assertiveness in her relationship. Read by the podcast host, this two-part interview offers a unique listening experience—complete with a “director’s cut” featuring host commentary alongside the raw, unfiltered story.

The Struggles of Balancing Desire and Connection

The client’s experience sheds light on a universal challenge:  her yearning for a partner who can take charge in the bedroom and assert confidence in the relationship resonates with anyone who has ever craved deeper passion or clarity in their connection.

A Rare and Honest Perspective

The interview delves into themes of self-discovery, unmet expectations, and the often-overlooked dynamics of dominance in intimacy. With insightful commentary from the host, listeners gain a deeper understanding of how these desires play out in real-life relationships and what they can teach us about our own.

Does Her Story Resonate With You?

Whether you see yourself in her struggles or are curious about the dynamics of intimacy, this episode invites you to explore the deeper layers of connection and desire. Tune in for an honest, thought-provoking look at the challenges and triumphs of balancing assertiveness, vulnerability, and intimacy.

Ready to Come Closer?

Discover the raw truths of intimacy and learn how to create deeper, more fulfilling relationships by visiting Closeness.com. Let’s get closer—one story at a time. 🌟

CHAPTERS:

0:00 Intro

2:15 The basis of this interview

6:04 The unedited interview begins at about 58 minutes

6:24 The interview begins

7:09 How long have you been together and what is working?

8:16 Fantasizing about dominance

8:42 How is your communication?

9:16 Some personal commentary

11:56 What are you struggling with in your relationship?

12:40 Discussion about women waiting for the action

14:52 She needs a dominant man

22:58 How can I help and what do you want to accomplish here?

29:40 Infidelity and frequency of sex

32:48 Expectations about sex

35:12 Who rejects who more and why?

38:59 Where would you like to see your partner be more of something

40:48 Her primal sexual experiences

44:40 My commentary

50:30 How a man can assert dominance in an attractive way to her

53:00 The importance of women speaking their minds in relationship

53:32 Her sexual kinks and interests

54:02 Do you climax regularly, even if not together?

54:16 She wants to learn how to be more feminine and eliminate masculine energy

58:34 FULL UNADULTERATED INTERVIEW

1:21:59 Outro

Why Relationships Go Stale—and What to Do About It

Over time, couples can fall into patterns that kill sexual tension. Some couples have never had sexual tension to begin with. You sit separately on the sofa, treat each other like best friends, and stop being sexy with one another. Men often feel they need to constantly chase, while women hold back, waiting for something to happen.

But here’s the truth: keeping intimacy alive requires effort and playfulness from both partners. Women, you’re allowed to take the lead and show interest—there’s nothing wrong with initiating or being more receptive to your partner’s advances. Waiting and hoping can be a fools errand as you may already know if you've been doing this for years. 

Build Sexual Tension and Stop Being Predictable

If you don't know what sexual tension is you'll learn about it in this episode. Passion thrives on tension, mystery, and spontaneity. Stop playing it too “safe” or being overly sweet—there’s nothing sexy about predictability to most women. Instead, learn how to engage in sexually suggestive behavior. Show your partner you desire them with intentional body language, dirty talk, and flirtatiousness. Men, this doesn’t mean you have to “chase” endlessly; but confidently show her that you DESIRE her, without hesitation. And ladies, don’t be afraid to give clear signals—subtle cues often fly under the radar for most men

Keeping the Train Moving Forward

Reigniting intimacy is not about making one grand move and stopping there—it’s about momentum. You have to keep the train moving forward by building anticipation, staying engaged, and consistently showing up for your partner sexually and emotionally. Remember, sex and sexuality don’t just “happen” on their own; they require you to bring energy, creativity, and presence to the relationship. This likely means you will have to do 5-25 things in succession to get her going and turn her on. 

If you’re ready to stop waiting for things to change and start building the relationship you crave, this episode will show you how. From dirty talk and suggestive behavior to creating a dynamic where both partners feel desired, you’ll learn exactly how to move intimacy forward—starting tonight.

Ready to Come Closer?

Tune in now to rediscover passion and create the kind of relationship you can’t wait to come home to. For more insights and tools, visit Closeness.com. 

Are you ready to come closer? 

CHAPTERS: 

0:00 Intro

0:57 The Waiting game 

3:47 Why this happens 

4:57 Women can take the lead without being outrageous 

8:13 If you’re already a woman who’s comfortable initiating 

10:46 Women don’t want to initiate 

12:56 women are hornier but can go longer without it

14:08 On sexual tension and the importance it 

]]> full 69 3 true no 01:13:46 Yes no https://closeness.com/podcast/why-your-female-partner-or-wife-isnt-having-sex-with-you-and-what-you-can-do-about-it/ Tue, 01 Nov 2022 03:53:15 +0000 https://cravecloseness.com/?post_type=podcast&p=5485 Sometimes, the things you aren’t doing in bed can be just as damaging as the things you are. In this episode, we explore 10 key reasons why your wife or girlfriend might not feel inspired to be intimate with you—and more importantly, what you can do to turn things around. Spoiler alert: It’s not about asking for sex or sticking to the same moves you’ve been using for years. 

Mindset Matters: How Do You View Sex?

One of the biggest turn-offs for women is when men treat sex like something they’re owed or something they can “get” from their partner. Similarly it's a turnoff of men beg or ask for it. If you catch yourself using expressions like, “I haven’t gotten any in weeks,” or thinking sex is something she needs to give you, or you catch yourself asking for it, it’s time to reset your mindset. Women can sense neediness from a mile away. Talking about sex too much, asking repeatedly, or being randomly horny without putting in any effort to open her emotionally or mentally isn’t inspiring—it’s exhausting.

Stop Doing What Isn’t Working

Relationships aren’t static, and neither is intimacy. What worked in the past—whether it’s moves from 10 years ago or repeating the same patterns—might not work today. Women thrive on variety, connection, and emotional safety. If you’re doing the bare minimum or refusing to evolve, don’t be surprised if her desire fizzles out. Start paying attention to what excites her. Healthy dominance, creativity, and the confidence to lead can reignite that spark.

Inspire, Don’t Demand

Desire isn’t automatic. Women need to feel seen, appreciated, and inspired to want intimacy. If you’ve done little to build her up emotionally, mentally, or physically, why would she feel turned on? In this episode, you'll learn to be present, take initiative, and understand her unique rhythms to make all the difference. Remember: women can be insatiable sexually when they feel safe and inspired, so have fun and explore! 

This episode is packed with actionable advice to help you shift your mindset, ditch bad habits, and create an environment where intimacy flows naturally. If you’re ready to learn how to inspire your partner and become the lover she craves, this one’s for you.

Ready to Come Closer?

Tune in now for practical tips on deepening intimacy and sparking passion in your relationship. For more insights, visit Closeness.com. Let’s get closer. 🌟

CHAPTERS 

0:00 Intro and your mindset about intimacy with your partner 

5:04 The fatal mistake of thinking you only had to put in a little work in the beginning

7:34 You're talking about it too much or asking her for sex

9:20 She can smell it on you and knows it's what you want so it feels needy

10:58 You're randomly horny and think she should therefore have sex with you  

13:40 You haven't done a whole lot to inspire her or open her

16:23 You see women as objects

19:37 You're doing the same moves from 1-20 years ago

21:12 Asking too many questions and talking too much

22:40 Consent is imperative. But when a women feels safe it isn't always required 

24:58 What's working today may not work tonight 

26:04 Some women really do need and want healthy dominance 

26:24 Women are insatiable sexually - so have fun! 

29:00 Outro 

 This episode offers 10 powerful strategies to help women not only feel more confident and open to intimacy but also build deeper connections with their partner. Intimacy thrives when both partners bring their best selves to the relationship, and sometimes, it’s about becoming a better, more self-aware person.

Speak Up, Be Present, and Take Action

Your partner isn’t a mind reader, and neither are the people around you. Speaking up for yourself—whether it’s about your needs, desires, or boundaries—is a game-changer. But self-awareness also matters: avoid monopolizing conversations and overprocessing out loud for hours on end. Confidence comes from being heard, not from dominating. Similarly, being present when you’re out in the world by looking up from your phone and not ignoring other genders, can invite connection with your energy and openness.

When it comes to intimacy, effort matters. While manifesting is a wonderful thing, sitting back and waiting for things to happen is an unlikely way to take control of your life.  Take action, explore what your partner enjoys, and make moves of your own. Letting go of insecurities and anxieties that hold you back from enjoying the moment can be tough. For women, relaxing into intimacy (and yes, allowing your man help you orgasm powerfully) can really set the tone for your day. At the same time, don’t hold mistakes from the past over your partner’s head—growth and forgiveness are essential for intimacy to flourish.

Embrace Your Duality: Confidence and Vulnerability

Understanding the duality of your beauty is critical—yes, the world cares about how you look, but your personality and inner self and how you carry yourself matters too. Confidence is attractive, but so is humility—toning down entitlement and arrogance can create space for deeper connection. 

This episode reminds us that intimacy isn’t about techniques or quick fixes—it’s about presence, effort, and self-awareness. When you communicate openly, bring confidence to the table, and take actionable steps to create connection, you’ll not only feel more sexually desirable, but your partner will feel more open and drawn to you, too.

Ready to Come Closer?

Tune in to discover how to bring these strategies to life and create deeper, more fulfilling intimacy. For more relationship insights, visit Closeness.com. 

Chapters:

0:00 Intro

4:45 Speak up for yourself

12:00 Speaking unconsciously for obnoxious lengths of time

20:26 Making her come well and relax often triggers women to talk

22:24 Learning to be open and in a receptive mode to welcome intimacy

25:58 Don't have sex with people you don't like sleeping with

27:02 Beating up your man for mistakes from his past that he has remedied

33:05 Not letting insecurities get in the way of a good time

36:38 Toning down the arrogance, entitlement and aggressiveness

40:00 Talking about and bringing your fantasies to life

true no 01:01:44 Yes no https://closeness.com/podcast/staying-hard-getting-it-up-finishing-too-early-ed-pe-and-other-fascinating-subjects-for-men-and-women/ Sat, 21 May 2022 20:36:35 +0000 https://getcloseness.com/?post_type=podcast&p=4915 Lasting Longer and Keeping it up:  for Men and Women

One of the most difficult—and often unspoken—topics for men is performance in the bedroom. Can he maintain his erection? Does he finish too quickly? Does he struggle with ED, or get so turned on that he finishes in minutes or worse seconds? These questions are more common than you think, yet so few men or couples openly address them. This episode dives deep into the solutions, offering practical tools and insights for both men and women to navigate this sensitive but crucial topic.

The Reality of Finishing Too Quickly

Finishing too quickly can feel frustrating, embarrassing, and detrimental to a relationship. Women often need significantly more time to warm up physically and mentally, and a man reaching orgasm too soon can leave her unsatisfied and disconnected. While it’s tempting to “accommodate” her in other ways after the fact by using toys, fingers or your mouth, it’s often not enough or ideal.

True intimacy requires presence, pacing, and awareness. Grounding techniques—like stillness, breathing, taking short breaks, and slowing down transitions—can help men regain control and create a more fulfilling experience for both partners.

Communication, Practice, and Realistic Expectations

When men focus so hard on not finishing, they often sabotage themselves by creating mental stress. Instead, staying grounded in the moment, practicing edging (stopping before the point of no return), and understanding your body’s most sensitive areas can help you last longer. It’s also essential to remove stigma and bad expectations around male performance—constant, unbroken hardness isn’t realistic, and your value as a partner isn’t measured by a single act.

For women, patience and communication are vital. Men often fear touching themselves or getting too self-conscious about “fixing the issue,” but avoiding the conversation doesn’t help. Women can support their partners by understanding their struggles, avoiding criticism, and encouraging a team-based approach to intimacy. Simple body language, verbal reassurance, and open discussions about preferences can transform the sexual experience.

Selflessness, Self-Awareness, and Lasting Connections

Lastly, being selfless doesn’t mean neglecting your own pleasure. There’s a balance between caring for your partner and allowing yourself to enjoy the moment without guilt or pressure. Intimacy is a skill—lasting longer, maintaining connection, and improving as a lover requires practice, communication, and mutual effort. The answers are out there, and the path to incredible intimacy starts with openness, patience, and a willingness to grow.

Ready to Come Closer?

Tune into this powerful episode to learn how to address sexual performance with confidence and care, while strengthening intimacy with your partner. For more tools on creating deeper, more connected relationships, visit Closeness.com.

Ready to come closer? 

CHAPTERS

0:00 Introductions 

1:33 Finishing too quickly is not an option for a successful relationship 

2:35 It’s not enough to only accommodate her in other ways 

4:04 Women need time to get warmed up! 

5:50 It's selfish of you when you finish first 

7:40 Analyze your equipment - where are you the most sensitive

8:49 Rocking back and forth 

9:37 Grounding yourself 

12:14 Caveat for particular women who hold back sex

16:57 Being slothful and lazy 

true no 01:19:58 Yes no https://closeness.com/podcast/how-to-properly-be-dominant-and-assertive-with-a-woman-in-the-bedroom/ Sun, 30 Jan 2022 01:52:12 +0000 https://getcloseness.com/?post_type=podcast&p=4661 How to Be Sexually Dominant in a Hot and Healthy Way

Sexual dominance is one of the most misunderstood and controversial topics in intimacy. Many men want to know how to take the lead in the bedroom, but they’re held back by misconceptions, insecurities, or poor role models. In this episode, we break down healthy sexual dominance is—how to guide, lead, and take control in the bedroom in a way that’s confident, respectful, and deeply satisfying for both partners.

What Is Healthy Sexual Dominance?

Healthy dominance isn’t about aggression, control, or acting like a caricature of masculinity. It’s about being assertive and leading while creating a safe and exciting space where your partner can let go and surrender to the moment. Simply put, true sexual dominance comes from presence—being attuned to her body, energy, and non-verbal cues while leading with confidence. Women often want their partner to take charge, to initiate, and to show desire—but they don’t want to feel objectified, pressured, or disrespected.

The key is to lead in a way that feels natural and authentic. Healthy dominance means knowing when to guide her, when to slow things down, and when to ramp up the intensity. It’s about tone, touch, and timing—being intentional with your actions so that she feels both turned on and cared for.

Common Misconceptions About Sexual Dominance

One of the biggest mistakes men make is equating dominance with aggression. And while some partners may want or enjoy that, acting overly forceful or treating your partner like an object doesn’t make you dominant—it usually creates distance and disconnection. Healthy dominance is a dance between strength and sensitivity. It’s reading her signals, not forcing your own agenda.

Another common pitfall is indecision. Saying things like “I don’t know” or constantly asking “What do you want me to do?” kills the mood. Confidence is key—take the lead, make decisions, and trust yourself. Women are often drawn to a partner who can initiate with purpose, not hesitation.

How to Practice Healthy Sexual Dominance

So, how do you get it right? Here are some practical steps:

1.Set the Tone: Healthy dominance starts before sex even begins. Use eye contact, a confident touch, and a strong presence to let her know you’re in control. Lead without speaking or guide by telling your partner what to do in a respectful tone. 

2.Be Attuned to Her: Deep listening matters in the bedroom. Pay attention to her breathing, body movements, and verbal cues to guide the experience.

3.Initiate With Confidence: Don't ask for permission with awkward questions like “Can we have sex?” or paltry touching such as rubbing her side or knee. Instead, lead with action: kiss her, guide her hands, and let your energy build naturally.

4.Balance Softness and Strength: Healthy dominance doesn’t mean being harsh or aggressive. It’s about knowing when to be firm and when to slow down, keeping her anticipation and arousal high.

5.Use Your Words Thoughtfully: Confidence doesn’t require shouting or harsh commands. Speak with a calm, masculine tone and make her feel desired with intentional, seductive language.

Redefining Dominance in the Bedroom

Healthy sexual dominance is about trust, connection, and presence—not power for power’s sake. When done right, it can unlock new levels of intimacy, excitement, and pleasure for both partners. It’s about making her feel safe while simultaneously pushing boundaries in a way that turns you both on.

If you’ve been struggling to understand what sexual dominance really looks like—or how to do it in a way that feels respectful and natural—this episode will give you the tools you need to confidently take the lead.

Ready to Come Closer?

Tune in to discover how to master healthy dominance in the bedroom and create more fulfilling, connected, and exciting e]]> full 63 3 false no 01:25:24 No no https://closeness.com/podcast/can-you-have-it-all-in-relationships-plus-female-mating-strategies/ Wed, 24 Nov 2021 02:02:55 +0000 https://getcloseness.com/?post_type=podcast&p=4616 Can You Have It All in Relationships?

In this thought-provoking episode, we explore a timeless question: Can you really have it all in your relationship? From emotional intimacy to sexual fulfillment, we take an honest look at the myths, realities, and expectations that shape modern relationships. Are you expecting your partner to be your everything—your best friend, lover, therapist, and cheerleader? Or is it time to challenge that Disney-inspired fairytale and redefine what “having it all” actually means?

Unrealistic Expectations and Self-Reflection

Many of us carry the belief that “one person should fulfill all our needs,” but is that possible? We discuss why expecting perfection from a partner sets both people up for disappointment. At the same time, the idea that you’re “perfect just the way you are” can prevent self-improvement. Healthy relationships require work—on yourself and on each other—so is it time to challenge the idea of being flawless and commit to growing instead?

The Role of Intimacy and Sexual Skill

Sexual fulfillment plays a massive role in relationships, but it doesn’t always come naturally. For men, becoming a skilled lover takes intention, effort, and a willingness to learn. Can a man truly transform himself into a “sexual dynamo”? Sure, but both he and his partner will often balk if he appears to be behaving different than how she knows him to be. Likewise, an unskilled woman can evolve into an incredible lover when she’s open to growth, exploration, and communication. Great intimacy isn’t a given; it’s an ongoing practice.

Do You Really Need It All?

This episode also dives into the pressures we place on relationships, especially when we compare ourselves to others. The fallacy of “If they can do it, I can too” can create unnecessary frustration. Expecting our partners to be our everything: the one who talks to us, loves us, is always there for us, listens to us and more can put a lot of pressure on the relationship. We reflect on the idea that it’s okay not to have it all in your relationship. Maybe the key to happiness is accepting the balance of strengths and imperfections that make your connection uniquely yours.

Ultimately, this episode challenges the unrealistic narratives we carry about love, sex, and partnership. Can one person meet all of your needs? Should they? And are you holding yourself back from personal growth by expecting the fairytale to happen effortlessly?

Tune in to discover how redefining your expectations can lead to greater intimacy, self-awareness, and relationship satisfaction. For more on creating closer, more fulfilling connections, visit Closeness.com. Let’s get closer!

CHAPTERS

0:00 Introduction and can you have it all? Recitals and disclaimers

2:44 In a nutshell

4:20 What does it mean to have it all?

9:40 Misunderstandings

12:40 Should one person be your everything?

15:21 COVID and Politics

16:26 Are you really perfect, just the way you are?

17:40 The Disney Fairytale

21:30 How Women Select mates

24:39 How men often think of intimacy

25:45 Great sex does not come naturally to most many men

33:04 How does one become a skilled lover?

37:25 Can a man really become a sexual dynamo?

40:26 An unskilled woman CAN be flipped into a fantastic lover

47:24 What do I make of all of this?

49:15 T]]> full 62 2 https://closeness.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/CAN-YOU-HAVE-IT-ALL.png Can you have it all in relationships? Plus, female mating strategies false no 01:02:50 No no https://closeness.com/podcast/30-phrases-we-never-need-to-say-to-our-partners-and-lovers-again/ Mon, 04 Oct 2021 07:25:10 +0000 https://getcloseness.com/?post_type=podcast&p=4214

Words That Don’t Serve: Phrases We Can Stop Saying in Relationships

Language is powerful—it can build connection, but it can also create distance. Unfortunately, our daily conversations are often cluttered with filler words, passive-aggressive jabs, and expressions that serve no one. In this episode, we’re taking a closer look at phrases you simply don’t need to say anymore, especially to your partner. From thoughtless throwaway lines to phrases that diminish connection, you’ll learn how trimming the verbal fat can improve the way you communicate and connect.

Stop Saying Things That Mean Nothing

Phrases like “I don’t care,” “It depends,” or “It is what it is” may feel harmless, but they add nothing to a conversation. Saying “it depends” is the verbal equivalent of shrugging your shoulders—it’s a knee-jerk response that offers no new information. Similarly, “I just can’t explain it” or “I can’t imagine it” is rarely true—if you try, you usually can explain or imagine. These empty phrases stall intimacy instead of building it. The lesson? Be intentional. If you’re asked a question, take a moment to articulate a thoughtful answer.

Avoid Expressions That Undermine Connection

Some phrases we use to sound honest or relatable actually undermine the moment. For example, if you’re intimate with someone for the first time, saying “I can’t believe I’m doing this” or “I’m normally not like this” likely doesn't have the effect you think it will and may make you sound insincere or immature. These statements can leave your partner wondering, “Do they say this to everyone?” Instead, lean into the moment without disclaimers—let your actions speak for themselves.

Similarly, phrases like “Don’t judge me” or “Who hurt you?” can be dismissive. Everyone judges—it’s part of being human—and asking someone “Who hurt you?” when they’re sharing something vulnerable minimizes their experience. A better approach is to listen, validate their feelings, and keep judgment-free curiosity at the center of your communication.

Words That Don’t Make You Special

Some expressions are more about ego than connection. Saying “I’m so picky” when it comes to dating, or referring to yourself as a “goddess” or “deity,” doesn’t make you look confident—but rather may appear performative. The truth is, most people have high standards, and most relationships are complicated. Instead of leaning on cliché phrases like “It’s complicated,” take the time to express what you actually feel. Clear, direct communication will always win over vague or over-the-top language.

Speak With Intention

The takeaway? Communication is about connection. Every word you say carries weight, so stop using phrases that stall intimacy, minimize others’ experiences, or serve no real purpose. Instead, aim for clarity, thoughtfulness, and authenticity in your conversations. By removing filler and owning what you say, you’ll not only sound more confident—you’ll create deeper, more meaningful connections with the people around you.

Ready to clean up your communication? Tune in to this episode for practical examples and actionable advice. For more tips on relationships, intimacy, and connection, visit Closeness.com. Let’s get closer—without the filler. 🌟

CHAPTERS

0:00 Intro

6:08 So you you don't care? 

7:00 Words Carry Power 

8:05 I don't sugar coat 

10:51 Emoji

12:21 Who hurt you 

13:36 That's cute 

17:26 It is what it is

19:55 Like I said 

22:44 All filler words to speak air 

26:10 I feel like rather than I know 

30:32 Next time 

31:10 It depends 

33:20 I just couldn't imagine if it hasn't happened yet

34:42 I can't explain it...

37:16 I am so picky 

38:52 Narcissism ]]> full 61 2 https://closeness.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Dont-say-it-30-expressions-no-longer-needed.png 30 phrases we never need to say to our partners and lovers again false no 01:13:25 No no https://closeness.com/podcast/to-come-or-not-to-come-the-male-ejaculatory-response-and-how-women-feel-about-it/ Tue, 29 Jun 2021 05:03:19 +0000 https://getcloseness.com/?post_type=podcast&p=4078 To Come or Not to Come: Should Men Always Finish?

When it comes to intimacy, an often overlooked question to ask is quite simply: should a man ALWAYS “finish” during sex? And does he even need to? The answer quite simply is no. It is not always urgent or necessary.

Society often treats male orgasm as the end-all, be-all, end-of-it-all of sex, but is this expectation helpful—or even healthy? In this episode, we break down the cultural, emotional, and even spiritual dynamics around male orgasm and challenge the pressure placed on men to “perform” every single time.

Societal Expectations and Misconceptions

From movies to media, we’ve been conditioned to believe that male ejaculation equals a successful sexual experience. This expectation creates a performative mindset that reduces intimacy to a mechanical act and puts unnecessary pressure on men while making women feel like they are attractive and desirable.

It’s a dynamic many don’t talk about: women can unintentionally place heavy pressure on their partners to come by treating male orgasm as proof of their desirability or sexual skill. This leaves little room for men to slow down, be more present, explore, or simply enjoy the experience without worrying about the finish line.

The Pros and Cons of Always Finishing

Is a male orgasm inherently bad? Absolutely not—it’s natural part of life and for most it's going to happen whether they want it to or not. But there are downsides to chasing it every single time. Spiritually and energetically speaking, some men believe that abstaining from finishing allows them to conserve and generate more energy, deepen connection, and prolong intimacy.  For men who practice restraint, sex becomes less about “getting there” and more about being there.

On the flip side, different sex drives and physical needs mean that no two people experience intimacy the same way. For some men, finishing is an essential part of feeling satisfied and connected, and some men unfortunately can't even imagine ONE instance in their life where they would abstain.

The key is open communication: partners need to recognize that male pleasure doesn’t always have to be linear, and not reaching orgasm doesn’t necessarily mean something is “wrong.”

Pressure and the Myth of Marathon Sex

Pressure during sex—whether it’s self-imposed or from a partner—can kill the vibe faster than anything else. Some men feel they’re expected to last forever, perform perfectly, and always finish, which can also create anxiety instead of connection.

There’s no reward for marathon sex if it’s not enjoyable for both partners. Making her come a 60th time does not crown you king of the hill. Intimacy isn’t a competition or a checklist—it’s about shared experience, pleasure, and emotional connection.

Final Thoughts and Takeaways

This episode helps us remember that sex is more than a sport, an act or an objective that must be reached. For men, understanding their own bodies, communicating with their partners, and challenging societal expectations can lead to more fulfilling and pressure-free intimacy. For women, it’s about recognizing that a man not finishing doesn’t mean failure—it’s just a different way of being present.

So, to come or not to come? The answer lies in what feels best for you and your partner but we certainly have some ideas and suggestions for you. Release the pressure, explore the possibilities, and redefine what great sex means to you both.

Ready to Come Closer?

For more insights on intimacy, connection, and relationships, tune into this episode and visit Closeness.com. Let’s get closer, together. 🌟

0:00 Introduction

0:53 Societal expectations around finishing

1:33 Typical expectations around m]]> full 60 2 https://closeness.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/IMG_0228-1.webp To come or not to come. Whether men should finish and how women feel about it true no 00:41:16 Yes no https://closeness.com/podcast/empathy-understanding-and-answers-for-sexually-inexperienced-men/ Sun, 11 Apr 2021 22:00:04 +0000 https://getcloseness.com/?post_type=podcast&p=3909 Navigating Sexual Inexperience: A Guide for Men and Their Partners

Sexual inexperience in men is a topic of conversation that is often avoided, misunderstood, or riddled with shame. This episode of Closeness addresses the stigma, challenges, and solutions for men who lack experience in the bedroom, offering actionable advice for both men and their partners. Whether you’re the one navigating inexperience or supporting someone who is, this episode provides the tools to foster understanding, intimacy, and growth.

Breaking the Silence Around Sexual Inexperience

In today’s hypersexualized world, inexperienced men often feel isolated and inadequate. Or, they simply parrot what they see in porn.  Many assume that sex is a skill that magically comes naturally once you’re in a relationship—or worse, that marriage will magically unlock expertise. The reality? Sexual skills, like any other, require learning, practice, and open communication.

Men facing this challenge often grapple with shame, guilt, and fear of judgment, making it difficult for them to reach out for help. This episode reassures them: you are not alone.

Why Women Struggle to Teach

A crucial insight shared in this episode is that women typically don’t want to teach their man how to have sex with them. Some find it less than sexy and others find it emasculating but  some partners still may be patient and understanding.

Most women however can become frustrated or resentful when they feel like they have to initiate all the time or carry the burden of sexual exploration. This dynamic often results in tension, where women may feel unfulfilled, and leave their men feeling  inadequate.

Additionally, it's my experience that sexually inexperienced men often find themselves paired with more experienced women. In these cases, women may take the lead initially but can grow weary if the dynamic remains one-sided year after year. Most women will initiate less in relationship after the romance period wears off. The challenge for men is to overcome hesitation, build confidence, and actively participate in the relationship without relying solely on their partner to drive intimacy. Sadly most men are intimidated by their female partner, too scared or nervous, or think they are pretending, role playing or acting. 

How Women Can Help Support Their Partner

While women may not want to “teach” directly, they can play a vital role in helping their inexperienced partners grow. The episode offers practical advice for women, such as:

1.Create a Safe Space: Make your partner feel safe, valued, and respected. Judgment-free communication and an openness to play is key.

2.Encourage Exploration: Gently suggest new things to try together, turning intimacy into a collaborative and enjoyable experience.

3.Focus on Positive Reinforcement: Celebrate progress and moments of connection instead of focusing on what isn’t working.

When women approach the situation with patience and support, it helps reduce the pressure and stigma men may feel, paving the way for mutual growth and deeper intimacy.

Are Women More Sexual Than Men?

The episode also challenges the stereotype that men are always the more sexual partner. In many cases, women may express greater sexual confidence or desire, especially when paired with an inexperienced partner.  Understanding that sexual energy is not inherently tied to gender can help both partners redefine their dynamic and meet each other’s needs more effectively.

Building Confidence and Connection

Inexperienced men often take on what might traditionally be seen as the “female role” in the bedroom, leaning into passivity, submissiveness or hesitation. This isn’t inherently bad, but it highlights the need for men to step into their own confidence. Developing a stronger sense of self-awareness, embracing vulnerability, and actively pa]]> full 59 2 https://closeness.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/SEXUALLY-INEXPERIENCED-MEN.png Empathy, understanding and answers for sexually inexperienced men false no 00:41:56 No no https://closeness.com/podcast/what-to-do-and-what-it-means-when-a-woman-says-she-needs-space/ Mon, 15 Mar 2021 00:26:59 +0000 https://getcloseness.com/?post_type=podcast&p=3879 One of the most difficult things someone can hear, is that their partner needs space. Nothing is clear, the terms are undefined, and once uttered it usually ends up in disaster. Tune in now to find out what to do.

CHAPTERS:

0:00 Introduction

5:25 Malignant phrases

6:20 How to handle short term space

8:38 When she takes days, weeks and months of space

13:15 What you're supposed to know when she says she needs space

16:08 If you're going to try to make it work, here's what you should do. 15 minutes.

34:42 Do the feelings of the other partner matter?

39:54 How to correctly ask for space

42:21 Asking for space in a healthy and conscious way

44:55 What NOT to do when you needs space

47:36 Should you go out, party, drink and do drugs?

52:45 You actually could have just ended the relationship

53:32 When a guys never texts you back or calls you back...

56:15 How much space do you actually need?

56:54 Why women get upset when a man asks natural questions

59:15 If you're going through this now, it gets worse...

1:03:25 The pitfalls of actually taking space

1:06:42 What if your partner doesn't need or want space but you do?

1:08:43 What if the man needs space?

1:10:54 Summing it all up

1:15:15 How anger and resentment plays in to taking space

1:25:50 Does Tari actually see the value in taking space?

Thank you for listening! We hope you enjoyed this immensely.

Breakups are messy, painful, and complicated, but they’re also opportunities for growth if approached with intention. In this episode, we dive deep into the lessons learned through heartbreak and how to navigate the journey of healing. From the importance of actions over words to the emotional pitfalls of unbalanced love, this conversation is packed with insights to help you move forward with clarity and self-respect.

What Do You Owe the Other Person?

A common question during a breakup is: what do you actually owe your partner? The answer lies in mutual respect. Whether you’re the one ending things or the one being left, practicing the golden rule—treating others how you would want to be treated—can make all the difference. This means communicating honestly, avoiding ghosting or cruelty, and offering closure when possible. It’s about handling the end of a relationship with dignity, not only for them but for yourself.

Why Self-Care Comes First

Breakups can leave us feeling overextended, especially when we’ve invested too much into the relationship. It’s tempting to pour your energy into trying to “fix” things, but the reality is that this often leads to burnout. The focus must shift inward: self-care is the key to healing. Take time to nurture yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. If you feel like you’ll never want anyone else but your ex, remind yourself that this is temporary and rooted in the immediacy of loss.

A helpful exercise is reflecting on past relationships. Think of an ex you thought you’d never get over. You did, didn’t you? This shows that even the strongest emotional ties can loosen with time and effort. Once you’ve healed, redirecting your energy to helping others can be a therapeutic way to regain purpose and perspective.

Can You Be Friends With an Ex?

One of the most debated post-breakup questions is whether you can remain friends with your ex. While it’s possible, it’s often tricky and fraught with complications. Personal stories shared in this episode highlight the challenges of trying to maintain a friendship, especially when emotions and unresolved feelings linger.

The hard truth? Physical boundaries are non-negotiable—never touch your ex again after breaking up. Intimacy blurs lines and hinders healing, making it harder to move on. Ask yourself: do you really want to be friends, or are you holding onto the hope of reconciliation?

Love, Imbalance, and Moving Forward

Unbalanced love is one of the most painful dynamics in any relationship. Being in love with someone who only “likes” you back can erode your self-worth. Similarly, staying with a partner who doesn’t show up for you emotionally is draining and unsustainable. This episode emphasizes the importance of recognizing when to walk away—whether you’re the one giving too much or receiving too little.

One key takeaway? Don’t settle for a relationship where your love isn’t reciprocated. And if you find yourself thinking about someone else while with your partner, it’s a sign that neither of you is in the right place. Relationships thrive on mutual investment, and without it, they can’t last.

Moving Toward Healing

Breakups are never easy, but by focusing on self-care, setting boundaries, and reflecting on the lessons learned, you can turn heartbreak into a powerful opportunity for growth. Treat your ex with kindness, but prioritize your own healing. Above all, remember: you deserve a relationship where love and effort are mutual.

Ready to Heal?

For more insights into relationships, self-discovery, and moving forward after heartbreak, visit Closeness.com. Tune in to this episode and let’s get closer. 💔✨

1:45 Actions speak louder than words

5:55 What do you actually owe t]]> full 57 2 https://closeness.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/How-to-Properly-handle-a-breakup-part-3.png Part 3: How to properly handle and move on from a breakup false no 01:14:37 No no https://closeness.com/podcast/part-2-how-to-properly-handle-cope-and-deal-with-a-breakup/ Tue, 26 Jan 2021 04:05:48 +0000 https://getcloseness.com/?post_type=podcast&p=3766 Surviving a Breakup: How to Survive, Heal and Move Forward

Breakups are one of the toughest emotional challenges we face. Whether it’s heartbreak, loss, or simply the difficulty of letting go, the aftermath can shatter us and feel overwhelming. In this 90-minute episode, we tackle the raw emotions and practical steps needed to help you navigate and heal from a breakup. From understanding grief to recognizing harmful distractions, this episode is your guide to finding relief and clarity during one of life’s most challenging transitions.

The Emotional Rollercoaster of a Breakup

In the midst of a breakup, it’s easy to slip into patterns of resentment, searching for reasons to dislike your ex as a way to move on. In fact many people convince themselves that they hate or despise this person in order to try to get them out of their heads.

 But true healing requires more than anger—it requires grieving. It requires SELF reflection.  The common advice that “time heals all wounds” often feels unhelpful because time alone isn’t enough. Healing demands intentional effort, self-reflection, and avoiding the trap of unhealthy distractions.

Instead of numbing the pain with temporary fixes, we explore the importance of self-soothing and finding genuine relief.

What Not to Do During Healing

Breakups can tempt us into destructive behaviors, from holding onto old possessions, to treating ourselves and bodies poorly, to making the wrong choices with other intimate partners. Sometimes we'll on the wrong kind of friends who either think we can do no wrong, or aren't as supportive as we need.

This episode helps you separate helpful coping mechanisms from harmful distractions. For example, surrounding yourself with supportive, emotionally intelligent  but honest friends can provide solace, while seeking validation from an ex or toxic relationships often leads to more pain.

Feng Shui principles, such as letting go of items tied to the past, can also help create emotional clarity and a sense of renewal.

Lessons in Reflection and Growth

The aftermath of a breakup often reveals truths we ignored during the relationship.  Reflecting on how your ex treats you—both during and after the split—can be eye-opening. Were they always kind? Did they attack you constantly for seemingly no reason? Did they gaslight you? Were they selfish or dismissive of your needs? Do they constantly talk over you. Recognizing these patterns helps you avoid repeating the same mistakes in future relationships.

This episode also tackles deeper dynamics, such as what happens when one partner loves more than the other and why people often lie to protect themselves during difficult times.

Breakups don’t have to mean endless suffering however. By understanding the grieving process, giving yourself the right kind of self love and space, avoiding common pitfalls, and focusing on self-growth, you can emerge stronger and more self-aware. Perhaps you'll even be more vulnerable and conscious of others around you too.  

Are you actually Ready to Heal?

For actionable advice, emotional insights, and a roadmap to recovery, tune into this episode and take the first steps toward moving forward. Visit Closeness.com for more resources on relationships, intimacy, and personal growth. 💔✨

CHAPTERS 0:00

Intro 2:45

You are probably in crisis right now

7:09 We look for ways to resent our partner to get over them

8:05 Understanding the emotional scale 9:08 There must be a grieving process

10:20 The disaster of distracting yourself vs healing yourself

12:14 The age old adage, that everything heals with time is not helpful

14:45 How to self soothe and search for relief

17:33 Avoiding unhealthy distractions

24:39 How can you separate distractions from helpful ]]> full 56 2 https://closeness.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/HOW-TO-HANDLE-A-BREAKUP-2.png Part 2: How to properly handle, cope and deal with a breakup false no 01:29:26 No no https://closeness.com/podcast/how-to-properly-handle-a-breakup-before-it-happens-part-1/ Sun, 11 Oct 2020 03:50:14 +0000 https://getcloseness.com/?post_type=podcast&p=3749 What are the warning signs?

Is Your Relationship Built to Last, or Is It Time to let go?

Breakups are among the most painful experiences we endure, often taking months or even years to recover from. But what if we could see the signs before it’s too late? In part one of this three-part series, we help you take a closer look at your current relationship—what’s working, what’s not, and how you’re truly being treated. This episode is about clarity: identifying red flags, spotting toxic patterns, and uncovering the behaviors that may indicate it’s time to move on.

Relationships rarely fall apart without warning, yet we often overlook the signs in front of us. Love matters. Love sometimes can trump all, but if it blinds us to pitfalls that are sometimes so obvious to those around us, we sometimes need to tread lightly.

Whether it’s dismissing small (or large) acts of disrespect, ignoring a lack of effort, not giving the benefit of the doubt, or convincing ourselves that things will get better while they (or we) don't change, denial can keep us stuck in situations that aren’t serving us.

This episode offers a roadmap to recognize when a relationship is healthy versus when it’s time to reevaluate. By confronting the truth of your dynamic now, you can save yourself from prolonged heartache down the line.

The next episode will dive into the harsh realities of navigating a painful breakup and how to survive it. But for now, this is your chance to take a hard look at the relationship you’re in. Is it helping you grow, or holding you back? Are you being treated with respect and care or making excuses for bad behavior? Do you blame, accuse and point the finger without all the facts? Tune in to uncover the red flags, empower yourself with awareness, and gain the tools to decide whether it’s time to stay or walk away.

Ready to Come Closer?

For more insights into relationships, love, and self-discovery, visit Closeness.com. Let’s get closer. 🌟

 Whether it’s cutting off contact, blocking someone on social media who has hardly said a word, or simply disappearing on someone after you sleep with them, ghosting leaves emotional scars that ripple far beyond the moment. This episode dives into the phenomenon, exploring why people ghost, the emotional toll it takes, and how we can change this behavior for good.

What Is Ghosting, and Why Do People Do It?

Ghosting happens when someone abruptly cuts off communication without warning or closure. But why do people ghost? Often, it’s a mix of fear, insecurity, and discomfort. Most people simply want to avoid being "uncomfortable," yet our own "comfort" level is not exclusively what's important when you're dealing with two people.

People may ghost to avoid confrontation, shield themselves from emotional vulnerability, or simply because they don’t know how to express their feelings responsibly. However, this avoidance doesn’t just harm the person being ghosted—it erodes trust and leaves both parties emotionally disconnected.

The Emotional Impact of Ghosting

This behavior has devastating effects on those left behind. Ghosting makes people question their worth, encourages feelings of rejection, and creates lasting emotional wounds. Over time, it diminishes the ghoster’s ability to build trust and meaningful relationships with those they leave in their absence.

Worse, it normalizes avoidance as a way of handling difficult emotions, creating a generation ill-equipped for healthy communication and conflict resolution.

How to Recognize, Avoid, and Cure Ghosting

This episode provides the tools you need to identify ghosting behavior in yourself or others, offering actionable advice on how to break the cycle. Key insights include:

•Emotional Involvement: Understanding when emotional ties form and how disappearing impacts both parties.

•Taking Responsibility: Why being “uncomfortable” is not an excuse to ghost someone and how to manage discomfort respectfully.

•Healthy Rejection: Learning how to set boundaries and reject someone with compassion and clarity.

•Building Trust: Why communication, even in difficult moments, is essential to maintaining integrity in relationships.

Key Moments in the Episode

Throughout the discussion, we tackle important topics, such as:

•The role of insecurities and fears in ghosting.

•The devastating effects of ghosting and how it fosters hostility and mistrust.

•The concept of “curving” (subtly rejecting someone without full closure).

•Blocking as a boundary or avoidance tool.

•The importance of being a custodian of someone else’s emotions when involved with them.

Moving Toward Healthy Boundaries

Ghosting isn’t just about disappearing—it’s about neglecting our responsibility to treat others with respect and care. This episode emphasizes the importance of understanding and maintaining healthy boundaries, offering practical examples of how to reject someone responsibly and how to handle rejection with grace.

Why You Should Listen

Ghosting isn’t just a personal issue—it’s a cultural one. By addressing it head-on, we can create a society where respect, understanding, and communication are prioritized over avoidance and fear. Whether you’ve been ghosted, have ghosted someone, or simply want to improve your communication skills, this episode offers valuable lessons on building stronger, more respectful connections.

Ready to Come Closer?

For more episodes on intimacy, connection, and boundaries, visit Closeness.com. 🌟

CHAPTERS:0:00 What is ghosting?2:25 Why do people ghost? 6:25 When does emotional involvement begin?10:17 Preliminaries and disclaimers13:15 Having to make backup plans 14:41]]> full 54 2 https://closeness.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/GHOSTING-BLOCKING-CURVING-Oh-My.png Ghosting and Blocking and Curving Oh My! true no 01:41:36 Yes no https://closeness.com/podcast/how-to-create-hot-sexual-chemistry-from-nothing/ Mon, 25 May 2020 19:11:36 +0000 https://getcloseness.com/?post_type=podcast&p=3488 The Truth About Chemistry: It’s Not Just “There or It Isn’t”

Yup. Surprise! Hot chemistry can be created from nothing. In fact most of the time... it is! 

What’s your definition of hot, passionate chemistry? Do you believe it’s something that either magically exists or doesn’t?

In this episode of Closeness, we’re bursting that myth wide open. Chemistry isn’t just a lucky accident—it’s something you can create, cultivate, and amplify in our partner when you understand how it works.

What We’ll Explore:

•How to naturally create good chemistry with someone who likes you.

•Is good chemistry for men inevitable, or does it depend on the situation?

•The surprising number of types of chemistry and how to identify them.

•How to allow chemistry to happen by letting yourself go there.

•Why we shut ourselves down and block love when it comes from unexpected sources.

•The inevitability of not clicking with everyone—and why that’s okay.

•Why context and timing are everything in building chemistry.

•How to channel the energy from past relationships to spark intimacy in new ones.

•The role of touch, eye contact, and body language in creating sparks.

•Why “I’m just not feeling it” is a flawed excuse.

•Why thinking chemistry “just happens” misses the bigger picture.

Why Listen?

This episode dives deep into the science and art of chemistry, challenging the common belief that it’s purely luck or fate. By the end, you’ll have the tools to create magnetic connections and understand why some relationships ignite while others fizzle.

Ready to Come Closer?

Tune in now to discover how to unlock the chemistry you’ve been searching for. For more insights into intimacy, connection, and passion, visit Closeness.com. 💫

In this provocative episode of The Closeness Podcast, we explore the power dynamics behind flirting, teasing, and attraction. Many women love being in a position of control—turning men on with playful eye contact, teasing gestures, or provocative outfits, all without intending to follow through sexually. It’s a game of power and attention, but where does the line get drawn? And what right does a man have if any, to act on it? 

What You’ll Learn:

•The Power of Teasing: Why some women enjoy turning men on while maintaining full control of the situation.

•Flirting vs. Intentions: Exploring the difference between asking for attention and asking for sex.

•Why She Dresses That Way: Unpacking the common claim that women “dress for themselves” and what provocative clothing signals to others.

•Breaking the Misconceptions: Why “she’s not asking for it” is always the answer, even if she’s enjoying the attention but if she likes you it doesn't mean both people can't have some fun. 

This episode explores the nuances of female empowerment vs entitlement, mindset attraction, and boundaries, shedding light on a topic often misunderstood. Whether you’re curious about the psychology of teasing or the fine line between admiration and obligation, this discussion is designed to challenge perspectives and foster greater understanding.

Ready to Come Closer?

T For more insights into relationships, intimacy, and attraction, visit Closeness.com.

Chapters:

0:00 Intro

1:16 Is she asking for it? 

8:04 Men don't really like to be teased the way women do

8:43 You should always be able to say no 

9:43 He's reading your cues accurately if you're advertising sex

10:04 The same cues you use to flirt are the same cues people use to have sex

13:52 When a man takes you shopping... 

Welcome to another Closeness sensual meditation—your go-to sexy escape whenever you need to recharge and reconnect. One aspect of these brief encounters serves as a rampage of appreciation. That means that by focusing on things that feel good to you, without letting other defeating thoughts in, even if for a few short minutes, you'll start to feel better. Your focus will shift and you'll awaken your senses in just 15 minutes or less! 

This time, we’re taking you to the shores of Kauai, with crystal-clear warm salty waters, soft sand, and the soothing sounds of the ocean. It’s an immersive experience meant to transport you into a world of relaxation and hot sex.

Before you hit play, find a comfortable, quiet place where you can truly let go. Whether you’re unwinding after a long day or seeking a moment of intimacy, this meditation is the perfect way to center yourself without demanding too much of your time.

Ready to get warmer and Come Closer?

Tune in and let this meditation guide you to a tropical, primal state of mind. For more sensual escapes and tools for intimacy, visit Closeness.com. 🌴

While countless episodes of The Closeness Podcast focus on how to pleasure a woman, it's time to give men their time to shine! What does it take to truly take care of your man? This isn’t about surface-level advice; it’s about getting real, going deep, and uncovering the things everyone is too afraid to talk about. Don't worry there will be plenty of sexy and sexual things included as well- obviously. 

But have you ever considered what he actually needs emotionally and mentally to feel valued, desired, and respected? Spoiler: it’s often more than just sex. Science shows that when men feel seen and appreciated, their oxytocin levels (the “bonding hormone”) skyrocket, leading to stronger emotional connections and better intimacy.

So stop scrolling, and tune in to explore the unspoken ways to get your man turned on and feel  cared for. You'll learn why emotional intimacy matters just as much as physical touch as well as the small but meaningful gestures that build trust and connection.

Ready to Come

Closer?

Dive into this episode to learn what it means to properly have sex with your man and how doing so can transform your relationship. For more tips on intimacy, relationships, and connection, visit Closeness.com.

Kissing is an intimate and often sensual way to connect with a partner—but let’s be honest, it’s not something we’re naturally born knowing how to do. Like any skill, it takes practice, intention, and yes, even technique. While no one teaches us how to kiss in school (thankfully!), Closeness is here to fill the gap with this must-listen guide to mastering the kiss.

What You’ll Learn:

•The do’s and don’ts of kissing to make you a more confident and desirable lover while still being a little tongue in cheek so to speak. 

•How to be receptive, malleable, and intentional when locking lips.

•Understanding the different styles of kissing and when to use them. Tip: Women don’t ALWAYS want to make out or be kissed or tongued.

•Why “I’m just not feeling it” isn’t enough and how to improve your technique instead.

•Avoiding biting, doing too much or too little, and the dreaded “porn star tongue.”

•How to ensure your kiss feels natural, sensual, and completely irresistible.

•A detailed look at how to use your mouth in ways that maximize pleasure for both of you.

Whether you’re looking to level up your first kiss game or reignite the spark in a long-term relationship, this episode has everything you need to make your kisses unforgettable.

Are You Ready to Come Closer?

Tune in for all the tips, techniques, and insights you need to become a better and more erotic kisser. For more intimate advice and relationship wisdom, visit Closeness.com.

Ready to come closer? 

Welcome to 2020 and Season Two of The Closeness Podcast! We’re kicking off the New Year with a bold and sexually explicit episode that lays out 15 essential steps to giving a woman an experience she’ll never forget. While we each have our own flavor that we bring to intimacy and perhaps there is not “one way” there certainly are general rules that make a “proper” approach to intimacy more successful. You won’t want to miss these do’s and don’ts that can make all the difference in having a hotter and more connected experience.

What We’ll Uncover together:

•How to get out of your head and into your partner, leaving your ego behind.

•Strategies for going beyond technique to truly tune into her desires and emotions.

•How to decipher what confidence and presence actually look like during intimacy.

•Tips to make sure she’s not just comfortable but genuinely wants to have sex with you.

This episode isn’t about memorizing tricks or moves—it’s about adopting principles that make women feel more connected, safe, and drawn to you sexually. We’ll guide you through the mindset shifts that can transform your approach to intimacy while helping you enjoy the journey.

Ready to Come Closer?

Dive into this episode and set a sexy tone for a year of better connection, confidence, and closeness. For more on intimacy, relationships, and sex, visit Closeness.com.

Talking about details of your intimate sexual health and history with regard to STIs and STD’s can feel incredibly vulnerable—and let’s face it, it’s a conversation most of us would rather avoid. From getting tested to asking your partner about their past, these are some of the trickiest waters to navigate whether in relationship or casually dating. But avoiding the topic often leads to more harm than good.

In this episode, we dive into the uncomfortable truths about sexual health conversations. Why are we so put off by the idea of disease yet so VERY hesitant to take action when it matters most and ask or disclose? And why do so many of us struggle to have mature, honest discussions about protecting ourselves and our partners?

What You’ll Learn:

•How to Approach the STI Conversation: Tips for starting the dialogue about sexual health without shame or awkwardness.

•Handling Vulnerability: Learn how to share your history and feelings with confidence and empathy.

•Receiving News with Compassion: How to respond to both good and bad news in a way that fosters trust and understanding.

•Life After Mistakes: Explore what happens when things go wrong and how to move forward with compassion and responsibility.

Sexual health isn’t just about your safety and protection; it’s about building trust, fostering intimacy, and taking ownership of your body and choices. This episode offers practical advice on handling these delicate conversations while emphasizing the importance of mutual respect and understanding.

Ready to Come Closer?

If you’ve ever felt nervous about addressing sexual health with a partner, this episode is your guide to navigating these challenges with confidence and care. For more insights on intimacy, relationships, and communication, visit Closeness.com.

If you grew up learning about the traditional sexual response cycle—excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution—you might think you’ve heard it all. But what if there’s a lot more to the story? In this provocative and sexually charged episode, we’re breaking down the 10 phases most women experience as they get progressively more and more turned on. This isn’t just a lesson in biology; it’s a deep dive into the intricate and electrifying process of female arousal that takes intimacy to a whole new level.

Move Over, Masters and Johnson

Masters and Johnson introduced us to the basics of the sexual response cycle, but we’re here to expand on it in ways they never imagined. This episode goes beyond the clinical to explore the nuanced, intimate journey women go through as they move from initial attraction to full-blown passion.

What You’ll Learn:

•The Complexity of Female Arousal: Understand why women’s arousal isn’t just linear—it’s layered, dynamic, and deeply personal. It’s not just about making her come. It’s not just about doing it once. 

•Breaking Down the 10 Phases: Discover the subtle shifts, both physical and emotional, that most women experience as they get more turned on. Orgasm is just the beginning. 

•How to Recognize and Respond: Learn how to tune into these phases to enhance connection and create a more satisfying sexual experience for both partners. Do you know your partners primal side? Have you met her yet? 

 Explore how understanding the female sexual response can deepen intimacy, strengthen communication, and bring couples closer together.This isn’t your typical talk about sex—it’s a bold, exciting, and eye-opening look at the nuances of female pleasure. Whether you’re looking to better understand your partner or unlock new levels of intimacy in your relationship, this episode is packed with insights that will forever change the way you think about arousal.

Ready to Explore?

If you’ve ever wanted to take your knowledge of intimacy and connection to the next level, this episode is your gateway to discovery. Move over, traditional sexual response cycle—this one is hot, exciting, and totally next-level.

For more tips and insights into sex, intimacy, and relationships, visit Closeness.com. Let’s take this journey together.

Are you ready to come closer?

How to say no, part deux.

How many times have you changed your mind about someone or something? Maybe you weren’t attracted to them at first, but later, something shifted and you found yourself wanting them. Or, perhaps the opposite happened—you felt drawn to them initially, only to realize later that something just didn’t feel right. Attraction can be complex, and understanding why our feelings change is key to navigating relationships and intimacy with clarity and respect.

The Art of Healthy Rejection

Rejection is one of the trickiest parts of relationships, especially when it involves someone who genuinely wants to please and connect with you. Men, in particular, often take pleasure in making women happy, or pleasing them—so how do you reject someone in a way that’s thoughtful, kind, and respectful for both parties? The way you deliver your “no” matters more than you might think. Tone and delivery can make the difference between preserving dignity and unintentionally creating hurt.

If safety is a concern, this episode offers practical guidance on how to reject someone without sugarcoating, ignoring, or making excuses—habits that can often backfire, making it harder for you and others in similar situations.

In This Episode:

•When to Rein It In: How to dial back your sexual energy when something feels overwhelming or “too much” for your partner.

•From Yes to No (or Vice Versa): How to handle situations when someone changes their mind—from a yes to a no, or even a no to a yes.

•Managing Confusion: Tips for navigating your own energy and desires when you’re feeling unsure or conflicted.

Honoring Boundaries

At Closeness, we emphasize the critical importance of respecting someone’s boundaries and meeting them where they are. We DO NOT encourage pushing past anyone’s “no.” Instead, we promote open communication, thoughtful questions, and honest discussions that foster understanding, connection, and respect.

Rejection doesn’t have to be such a downer. It can be used to create a space where both people feel safe, respected, and heard. By learning how to communicate your feelings—whether they’re shifting, unclear, or firm—you can avoid unnecessary confusion and hurt while fostering a deeper sense of connection and trust.

Ready to Come Closer?

Tune in to explore the nuances of changing desires, healthy rejection, and boundary setting in relationships. Whether you’re figuring out how to honor someone’s “no” or learning to express your own, this episode offers tools to help you approach these sensitive topics with care and confidence.

For more insights into sex, intimacy, and relationships, visit Closeness.com. Let’s get closer  together. 

Rejection—it’s something we all dread, yet it’s an unavoidable part of life, relationships, and intimacy. Whether you’re on the giving or receiving end, rejection can leave you feeling unworthy, shut down, hurt, or misunderstood. The truth is, most of us are terrible at handling it. We struggle to express our feelings in a considerate way, and even more so to hear “no” without taking it personally.

But rejection is more than just a painful moment—it’s a critical step in establishing healthy boundaries and creating meaningful connections. It helps us define what works for us, what doesn’t, and how we want to engage with others. The problem? We rarely stop to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes. We hate being rejected but often fail to consider how our words impact the person on the receiving end. Too often, rejection is delivered harshly or thoughtlessly, leaving lasting scars.

Why Rejection Matters in Relationships

Honoring someone’s boundaries when you hear a “no” is essential—but there’s so much more to it. How do you tell the difference between no, maybe, not yet, and a firm hard stop? And how can you communicate this in a way that’s clear but compassionate? Likewise, how can you hear rejection without letting it damage your self-worth?

In this episode, we’ll explore:

•The Importance of Boundaries: Why respecting a “no” is foundational to any healthy relationship or sexual encounter.

•Understanding Rejection: How to interpret the nuances of communication, from hesitations to hard stops so that you can have more fun with your partner

•The Art of Delivery: How to reject someone in a way that’s honest but considerate, leaving room for understanding rather than resentment for future encounters 

•Gracefully Receiving Rejection: Tips for maintaining your composure and self-esteem when you’re told “no.” It doesn’t have to be the blow we make it out to be.

A Call for Compassion

It’s easy to vent to friends or social media about what’s wrong in a relationship, but how often do we communicate those feelings directly to the person who needs to hear them most—our partner? Compassion and honesty are critical, especially when rejection is involved. Rejection doesn’t have to mean shutting someone down; it can be an opportunity for growth, understanding, and ultimately, greater closeness.

A Gendered Perspective: Why It Matters

We’ll also address the unique dynamics between men and women. Men are often expected to approach women, putting themselves in vulnerable positions where rejection is common. For women who prefer not to take the lead, it’s important to recognize the courage required for men to initiate and respond with sensitivity. This mutual understanding can transform how rejection is experienced and communicated.

Closeness Encourages Respect and Open Communication

At Closeness, we believe deeply in honoring boundaries. We DO NOT encourage pushing past anyone’s “no.” Instead, we advocate for open, gentle communication and authentic discussions about feelings and intentions. Through empathy and understanding, we can create safer, more meaningful relationships that bring us closer to love.

Ready to learn the art of giving and receiving rejection with grace? Tune in and explore how to turn this often-dreaded moment into an opportunity for growth, clarity, and deeper connection. For more insights, visit Closeness.com—let’s get closer!

An immersive listening experience designed to awaken your senses and bring you closer to your partner, and yourself. Using evocative and sensual tones, this episode goes beyond what you’re used to listening to in a podcast and creates an atmosphere that feels electric and deeply intimate.

One of the best parts of listening to Closeness is how it teaches you the art of great sex—not just the physical, but the emotional and energetic aspects that make intimacy unforgettable. After receiving incredible feedback from previous sensual meditations, we’re thrilled to offer you another.

When men listen, they may not fully understand the depth of what’s happening—but for women, it can mean everything. This episode taps into the nuances of desire, vulnerability, and connection, creating a space for you and your partner to discuss after listening.

How to Get the Most From This Episode

•Listen Alone: Relax. Enjoy. Touch yourself or play if you want to. 

Listen Together: The meditation is short enough for both you and your partner to enjoy in a single sitting. Use it as a way to spark a conversation about how it made each of you feel.

•Create the Right Environment: Find a place where you can relax and feel safe, free from distractions. The more comfortable you are, the more impactful the experience will be.

For more meditations and insights into connection, visit Closeness.com. 

Are you ready to come closer? 

This highly anticipated 90-minute conclusion to our provocative three-part series, is a no-holds-barred deep dive into the unspoken rules, assumptions, and expectations surrounding money, sex, and first dates. With a mix of hard-hitting statistics, personal stories, and surprising evidence, this episode will challenge everything you think you know about dating dynamics.

What You’ll Discover in This Episode

•Is Paying for Dates a Form of Prostitution? We examine the controversial comparison and what it reveals about the interplay between money and intimacy.

•The Argument Over the Bill: How do people really feel when their partner fights to pay—or refuses to and what happens after in the bedroom? We’ll explore the emotions, egos, and expectations behind this common dating dilemma.

•Sex Before Dinner: What happens when intimacy comes before the meal? Does it change the dynamic of who pays, and how does it affect expectations?

•The Obligation Factor: Did you know up to 70% of men feel obligated to pay for dates, even if they don’t want to? We’ll break down the statistics and unpack why this sense of duty persists.

Why This Episode Matters

This isn’t just about splitting checks— it’s about taking an up-close and personal look at splitting cheeks! Why do we attach such strong expectations to who pays, and how does it affect how we view our partners intimately? More importantly, how do these dynamics shape our understanding of fairness, generosity, and mutual respect?

We’ll invite you to reflect on your own beliefs, biases, and expectations. Do you see paying for dates as an obligation, an act of kindness, or something more transactional? And how does this tie into your views on intimacy and relationships?

Whether you’re navigating the dating world, in a relationship, married or simply curious about the cultural forces at play for who pays, this 90-minute finale will leave you with fresh perspectives and plenty to think about.

For more deep dives into intimacy, relationships, and connection, visit Closeness.com. Tune in, challenge your assumptions, and join the conversation—let’s get closer.

In part two of this three-part series, we dive even deeper into one of the most debated questions in modern dating: Who should pay for the first date? This isn’t just about picking up the check—it’s a conversation that touches on gender roles, financial dynamics, and the expectations we bring to relationships. With over 25 fresh insights to explore, this episode promises to challenge your perspective and offer actionable takeaways for your own dating life.

Key Topics We’ll Explore

•When She Makes More: What happens when the woman has significantly more financial resources? Does it shift the dynamic? Does she still get turned on if she as to pay? How should it be navigated?

•Ego vs. Generosity: How can you tell if your choices—whether paying or not—are driven by a genuine sense of generosity or a desire to protect your ego and show everyone how you’ll take care of the tab?

•Dating and the Wage Gap: How do societal income disparities play into who pays for dates, and what does fairness really look like? If she makes significantly more than he does, what then? 

•The “Prostitution” Argument: Is paying for dates transactional? We’ll break down this controversial comparison and examine what it says about our views on sex, money, and value in relationships.

Expectations vs. Inspiration

This episode goes beyond the surface to examine the semantics of dating expectations. Are your actions inspired by excitement and generosity, or are they rooted in fear, entitlement, or obligation? We’ll also tackle questions like:

•Do you feel like sex is something you’re “giving up”? How this mindset can undermine intimacy and connection.

•What about natural-born givers vs. people who feel entitled? We’ll explore the balance between giving freely and feeling taken for granted.

Why This Conversation Matters

The topic of who pays for the first date is more than just a logistical detail—it’s a reflection of how we approach relationships, power dynamics, and emotional connection. This episode isn’t about prescribing rules; it’s about helping you uncover your own beliefs and motivations so you can approach dating with clarity and confidence.

Tune In and Explore More

Whether you’re navigating first dates or redefining your role in established relationships, this episode is packed with insights to help you create healthier, more equitable connections.

For even more tips and discussions on dating, intimacy, and connection, visit Closeness.com. Ready to rethink your dating game? Let’s dive in.

Are you ready to come closer?

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When it comes to creating genuine closeness with someone, the conversation often starts with what not to do. Avoiding common mistakes can set the stage for meaningful connection, but there’s so much more to the art of intimacy than simply avoiding pitfalls. This episode takes you beyond the basics, diving into the subtle yet powerful cues that help you understand when someone is truly interested—and how to respond with confidence.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

We’ll start by unpacking the common behaviors that can sabotage closeness before moving into the essentials of creating a spark. Topics include:

•The Power of Body Language: How to read the unspoken cues she’s giving off and what your own body language might be saying in return.

•Mastering the Art of Hugging: Is your hug friendly, romantic, or awkward? We’ll explore how physical touch can communicate your intentions and deepen connection.

•The Magic of Eye Contact: Learn how maintaining the right kind of eye contact can build trust, intrigue, and attraction in seconds.

•How does she touch you? We’ll discuss the nuances of initiating physical closeness and how to ensure it feels natural and welcome for both of you.

5 Sure-Fire Ways to Know She’s Into You

By the end of this episode, you’ll have five concrete methods to determine if she’s truly interested in you—and, more importantly, what to do next. These tips go beyond the surface, helping you recognize signals you might have missed before.

•Her Body Faces You: Pay attention to how she positions herself. Facing you fully is often a clear sign of interest.

•She Mirrors Your Movements: If she’s subtly mirroring your posture or gestures, it’s a subconscious indicator of connection.

•Prolonged Eye Contact: Not just quick glances—when she holds your gaze, it’s a powerful sign of trust and attraction.

•Light, Playful Touches: Whether it’s brushing your arm or playfully nudging you, initiating casual touch can signal comfort and interest.

•She Leans In: Literally. If she’s leaning toward you during a conversation, it shows she’s engaged and wants to be closer.

Why This Episode Matters

Building closeness isn’t just about following a checklist—it’s about creating an atmosphere where both partners feel seen, heard, and understood. This episode equips you with actionable insights to navigate the complex but rewarding process of getting closer to someone, while avoiding missteps that can break the connection before it begins.

Start Your Journey to Closeness

Whether you’re just getting to know someone or looking to strengthen a budding connection, this episode will give you the tools to confidently build intimacy and recognize when someone is genuinely into you.

Discover more about the art of connection and intimacy at Closeness.com. 

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Flip through any self-help book, and you’ll likely come across the timeless mantra: “Communication is key.” But let’s be real—do we actually know how to communicate? Are we confident in expressing our needs, or do we hold back out of shyness? Do we truly say what we mean, or leave our partner guessing? And perhaps most importantly, do we actively listen to our partner’s needs with intention and empathy?

In this episode, we challenge the basic surface-level idea that “communication” alone is enough to fix relationship issues. It’s not just about talking—it’s about knowing how and when to communicate. We’ll explore the art of saying the right things, asking the right questions, and avoiding common communication pitfalls that can push your partner away instead of bringing you closer.

What You’ll Learn:

•How to Be Heard and Understood: Discover strategies to express yourself in a way that resonates with your partner. No more “You’re not listening to me!” moments—just clarity and connection.

•Nonviolent Communication in Action: Learn how to diffuse tension and have meaningful conversations, even when emotions run high.

•How to Ask the Right Questions: Find out how to spark curiosity and desire in your partner by asking questions that escalate excitement and intimacy.

•Unlocking Your Body’s Pleasure: Explore how understanding your own body can enhance your confidence and connection during intimacy. Knowing what you like is the first step toward communicating it to your partner.

•The Timing of Communication: Timing is everything. Learn when to speak up and when to listen, so your partner feels valued and understood.

Why This Episode Matters

Healthy, satisfying sex in relationships require more than vague advice about “communication.” They thrive on intentional, specific actions that deepen trust and intimacy. This episode is your guide to transforming not just how you speak to your partner, but how you connect on every level—emotionally, physically, and even sexually.

Whether you’re navigating a new relationship, looking to strengthen a long-term bond, or working through challenges, this episode provides actionable tips to help you bridge gaps and build closeness.

Ready to Dive In?

Improving your communication skills can unlock new levels of pleasure, understanding, and excitement in your relationship. Don’t settle for surface-level connection—learn how to communicate in a way that brings you closer than ever. Tune in now and start your journey to true intimacy.

For more insights and tips, visit closeness.com. 

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In this episode, we delve into the many drawbacks of long-distance relationships and explore why they may not be suitable for everyone. How long can you sustain a relationship without intimacy, touch, or the comforting presence of your partner?

This concise, thought-provoking episode is designed for listeners on the go—perfect for your commute or when you’re seeking a quick but meaningful perspective.

Are you ready to come closer?

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Sarah shares her journey with vulnerability and grace, including the life-altering decision to undergo a double mastectomy. She explores the profound ways this choice impacted her sexuality and self-perception. When faced with physical changes, such as scarring or surgeries, how—and when—should you disclose them to a partner? And if intimacy becomes unexpectedly complicated, how do you navigate the delicate conversation of stepping back without causing harm?

The discussion doesn’t stop there. We’ll also explore overcoming body image insecurities, embracing pleasure, and redefining self-love. Sarah also shares her candid thoughts on masturbation, the art of surrendering to intimacy, and yes, even her favorite toy. This episode is a thoughtful and honest exploration of resilience, desire, and what it means to truly connect with ourselves and others.

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We tackle the joys and challenges of traveling solo versus with a partner and the complexities of maintaining long-distance relationships while on the move. Marisa shares valuable insights on staying safe as a young woman exploring the world and navigating romantic or sexual encounters abroad. From gracefully turning down unwanted attention with a simple “I’m not interested” to letting a partner know he can take the lead with confidence, this episode offers practical advice for building boundaries while still embracing adventure.

Can a lack of confidence truly hold you back from intimacy? How can dominance play a healthy and exciting role in sexual exploration? Marisa dives into the impact travel has on our desires and sexual identity, revealing how new experiences can spark growth, curiosity, and passion.

We also confront deeper topics, including the craving for aggressive sex or taboo acts and Marisa’s story of surviving severe sexual trauma. Her honesty and resilience pour through as she shares how these experiences have shaped her journey toward healing and self-discovery.

Whether you’re craving inspiration for your next adventure or looking to deepen your understanding of love, sex, and confidence, this episode is for you. Are you ready to come closer?

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We’ll break down the often-blurred lines between genuine friendship, acquaintanceship, and romantic or sexual tension. What does it mean to be a true friend as opposed to someone lingering in the background, hoping for a chance to change the relationship? How do societal expectations and gender roles influence the way men and women navigate these connections? And more importantly, is it ever truly possible to eliminate the undertones of attraction or expectation in a friendship where desire might be present—even if unspoken?

This episode doesn’t just stop at unpacking these dynamics. We also explore the importance of clarity, communication, and honesty in relationships of all kinds. How do you set boundaries when one person’s intentions differ from the other’s? And what does it take to cultivate a friendship that’s built on mutual respect, not hidden motives?

Whether you’re someone who swears by platonic friendships or you’ve been burned by blurred lines before, this conversation will challenge the way you think about male-female dynamics. Are you ready to come closer?

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Here’s what we cover:

•Using vague or filler phrases to provoke jealousy. Saying you’re “out with friends” may seem harmless, but it’s a passive-aggressive move that creates unnecessary drama.

•Being intentionally boring. If you’re not putting effort into the conversation, don’t expect sparks to fly.

•Dodging direct questions. Evading answers might make you feel mysterious, but it comes off as avoidant and uninterested.

•Nitpicking your date. Being offended that he’s “too much” of anything—too nice, too confident, too direct—sends the message that nothing will ever be good enough.

•Killing the vibe with vague intentions. Saying, “I like to get to know people on the app before meeting or talking” is a fast-track to the dating graveyard. If you’re not ready to engage, why are you there?

•Ghosting between plans. If you’re radio silent from the time you set the date to when it actually happens, don’t be surprised if they lose interest.

•Admitting you’re “bad with your phone” and doing nothing about it. Being unreachable isn’t cute—it’s frustrating.

•Making excuses with phrases like “I just assumed you were…” Own your mistakes instead of projecting blame.

•Flagging every behavior as a “red flag.” Not every quirk is a dealbreaker. Being overly critical is exhausting for both of you.

•Adopting a “prove yourself to me” mentality. Thinking you’re inherently better than your date creates a power imbalance that kills chemistry.

•Constant tardiness with half-hearted apologies. Calling after you’re already late to announce you’ll be even later shows disrespect for their time.

•Encouraging them to lose interest before you even meet. Failing to follow through with plans or suggesting they “just cancel everything” after one hiccup is self-sabotage.

•Refusing to commit. Saying you’re interested but never taking action screams indifference.

•Overreacting to their approach. Criticizing someone for not understanding your boundaries, preferences, or personality before they even know you is unfair and unrealistic.

•Speaking in vague generalities. “Tell me something about yourself!” may sound casual, but if you’re not contributing to the conversation, it feels one-sided and shallow.

•Turning dates into job interviews. Asking endless questions but sharing nothing about yourself makes the interaction feel transactional instead of organic.

•Empty promises. Telling someone you can’t wait to see them but making no effort to follow through creates false expectations and wasted energy.

This episode isn’t just about pointing out the sins—it’s about understanding how these habits create walls instead of connections. Whether you’re a seasoned dater or new to the scene, these insights will help you identify your blind spots and make meaningful improvements.

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•Looking significantly worse in person than your worst profile photo. Let’s face it, your photos set expectations. Catfishing through selective editing or outdated pics? Not a vibe.

•Talking exclusively about what you “don’t do” or “won’t tolerate.” We get it, boundaries are important, but if your entire personality is wrapped in negativity, it’s exhausting.

•Making endless excuses to avoid meeting in person. If you like someone, show up! Flaking repeatedly and dodging plans doesn’t make you mysterious; it makes you forgettable.

•Overusing Snapchat filters and beauty filters. Nothing says, “I’m hiding everything about myself” like a generic filter. Retire it.

•Posting photos of yourself holding someone else’s baby. It might seem cute, but it’s giving confusing priorities rather than “dateable.”

•Responding with one-word answers. If “lol,” “yeah,” or “idk” is the best you’ve got, don’t be surprised if the conversation dies quick.

•Throwing around the phrase “next time” without meaning it. If there’s no “this time,” there’s not going to be a next one either.

•Freaking out if someone asks if you’re real. If your profile looks fake, or you’ve made yourself look like AI, that’s on you. A little verification question isn’t an attack—it’s common sense.

•Putting yourself in bad situations because “that’s what he wants.” Let’s make one thing clear: your safety and comfort come first, no matter what anyone else expects.

•Ignoring most of what someone says. If they ask three questions and you answer just one, you’re not playing it cool—you’re just not paying attention.

•Dropping phrases like, “I’m never on here,” “notifications are off,” or “hit me up on Snap.” Translation: “I’m bored and uninvested.” If you’re not into it, just log off.

•Playing mind games or being manipulative. Whether it’s tricks, passive-aggressive tests, or subtle power plays, it’s 2024—leave the drama in the past.

Online dating doesn’t have to be this hard. Avoid these sins, bring your best self to the table, and stop sabotaging your own chances. Ready to come closer? 

Are you ready to come closer?

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As much as online dating is meant to bring us closer, it often brings out the worst in how we treat each other. Why do we ghost without a second thought, or send messages we’d never dare speak in person, or play games that end in nothing but regret? If finding love is supposedly easier than ever, why does it feel so incredibly hard to connect?

This brutally honest episode is the first in a multi-part series that dives headfirst into the tricky, awkward, and messy realities of modern dating.

Together, we’ll explore why we sabotage our chances, why we resort to treating people as disposable, and most importantly, how we can turn things around when all seems lost. Whether you’re a seasoned swiper or an app novice, this episode unpacks the unspoken truths of online dating and gives you the tools to navigate it with confidence and clarity.

Ready to face the chaos head-on? Let’s get started.

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In this episode, we unlock the incredible power of your own presence. Sounds simple, right? But this one shift can transform not just your relationships but your entire life.

We’ll dive into how physical activity doesn’t only strengthen your body but fuels your brain and emotional well-being. From mindful movement to high-energy workouts, we explore how different forms of exercise can boost creativity, focus, and overall happiness. Plus, we’ll show you how breaking up your workday with intentional, energizing activities can turn even the most monotonous days into something that feels inspiring and life-giving.

Sometimes, the solutions to our biggest frustrations and anxieties are shockingly simple—we just need a little nudge to find them. Whether it’s stepping away from your screen for a quick dance break, stretching to release pent-up stress, or taking a mindful walk to reconnect with your thoughts, these small actions can make a big impact.

Join us as we uncover the everyday habits that can help you regain balance, stay energized, and show up as your best self. 

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Welcome to a new kind of meditation—one that isn’t about zoning out or falling asleep but about waking up your senses and diving into the world of erotic energy. This episode introduces sensual meditations.  Created to excite and arouse rather than relax. Think of it as a sensual rampage of appreciation, a way to ignite positive emotions and connect with your body and desires in a whole new way.

What Are Sensual Meditations?

Unlike traditional meditations aimed at calm and relaxation, sensual meditations tap into your emotions and fantasies. Tari guides you in a rich, intimate tone, exploring vivid, erotic imagery and subjects designed to make you feel like you’re in the moment. It’s immersive, powerful, and deeply personal.

Through evocative descriptions, we’ll help you visualize the things you love about sex and closeness—what excites you, what moves you, and what awakens your most passionate self. This isn’t just about physical arousal; it’s about getting to know yourself better.

Why Try Sensual Meditations?

1.Enhance Your Mood: Arousal and sensual exploration aren’t just about intimacy—they can also boost your mood, creativity, and self-esteem.

2.Deepen Your Connection to Desire: Whether you’re in a relationship or exploring your own sensuality, this practice helps you better understand what turns you on and why.

3.Expand Your Imagination: Vivid visualization is a powerful tool to strengthen your fantasies and deepen your appreciation for intimacy and connection.

4.Reignite Passion: If you’re feeling disconnected from your sensual side, these meditations provide a safe and creative way to rekindle that flame.

What to Expect in This Episode

•A guided, sensual narrative that speaks directly to your emotions and desires.

•Vivid, detailed descriptions designed to stimulate your imagination and help you explore intimacy on a deeper level.

•A positive and uplifting tone that focuses on appreciation and connection, leaving you feeling empowered and aroused.

•A unique listening experience that’s equal parts erotic and introspective.

Who Is This For?

Whether you’re looking to spice things up in your love life, reconnect with your sensuality, or simply try something new, this episode is for you. Sensual meditations aren’t just for couples—they’re for anyone curious about exploring the boundaries of their imagination and desire.

Are you ready to close your eyes, let your mind wander, and immerse yourself in the world of sensual meditation? This episode promises to delight your senses and leave you feeling invigorated, inspired, and deeply connected to your body and emotions.

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In this episode, we dive into behaviors that women (often unconsciously) engage in that could harm their relationships and interactions. It’s not about placing blame—it’s about building awareness and fostering growth. Let’s explore the patterns, habits, and mindsets that may be holding you back from deeper, healthier connections.

Key Themes and Common Missteps Discussed

1. Exaggeration and Mislabeling

Throwing around terms like “narcissist” without clinical basis or exaggerating normal behaviors can distort perceptions and damage trust. Overstating issues in your relationships can make small problems feel insurmountable and breed unnecessary conflict.

2. Misusing Clinical Labels

Terms like “sociopath,” “toxic,” or “body shamer” should never be used casually. Mislabeling someone with these loaded terms not only unfairly stigmatizes them but also minimizes the actual impact these behaviors have on others.

3. Poor Communication Clarity

Using overly dramatic language—such as describing a polite decline as a “meltdown” or “freak out”—can create unnecessary tension. Clear and calm communication fosters trust and understanding.

4. Criticizing Other Women

Making negative comparisons or tearing down other women, particularly exes, reflects insecurity and fosters toxicity. Supporting and uplifting others is far more empowering.

5. Ignoring or Disrespecting Others in Public

Avoiding eye contact, failing to acknowledge someone’s presence, or skipping basic courtesies like a polite “hello” can unintentionally come across as hostile or entitled.

6. Entitlement in Communication

Expecting immediate responses or interpreting delayed replies as rejection reveals underlying insecurity. Practicing patience and respecting others’ time and boundaries is key to balanced communication.

7. Pressuring for Intentions Too Early

Demanding to know someone’s relationship intentions before they’re ready can create unnecessary pressure and erode organic connection. Let relationships evolve naturally.

8. Labeling Relationships as “Wasting Time”

Dismissing relationships that don’t lead to permanence as meaningless overlooks their role in growth, learning, and self-discovery. Not every connection needs to be forever to be valuable.

9. Poor Communication Etiquette

Overly brief responses, like “lol,” “k,” or just an emoji, can make you seem disengaged or uninterested. Taking the time to respond thoughtfully shows that you value the interaction.

10. General Lack of Kindness

Passive-aggressiveness, withholding smiles, or ignoring others creates a colder, less empathetic environment. Small acts of kindness and warmth go a long way in building better connections.

Why This Matters

This episode isn’t about perfection—it’s about growth. By becoming more self-aware and accountable for our communication habits, we can foster more meaningful and compassionate relationships. No one is perfect, but small changes can lead to big improvements in how we connect with others and how others perceive us.

Ready to reflect, grow, and come closer? Let’s make it happen.

CHAPTERS: 

0:00 Intro

1:35 Hyper-exaggeration

9:07 Flinging around clinical and psychological diagnoses

10:55 A man who once touched a woman’s shoulder 

15:15 Freaking out and losing your mind 

19:50 Minimizing, insulting and picking apart other women

21:42 Ignoring all men and calling all men trash

32:03 The right kind of eye contact  full 27 1 true no 00:55:09 Yes no https://closeness.com/podcast/part-1-social-etiquette-5-faux-pas-to-avoid/ Sat, 08 Dec 2018 23:43:53 +0000 http://sneaky-need.flywheelsites.com/?post_type=podcast&p=2159 CHAPTERS: 

0:00 Intro 

3:16 The Reality TV effect on behavior 

11:24 How do men feel about it all

13:10 Solutions and answers

16:15 2. Stealing your partners thunder in conflict 

22:00 Answers and solutions 

24:00 3. Being scared of everyone 

30:20 I can’t be wrong or I would rather be right 

32:26 Prioritizing social media over human connection

34:44 Outro 

In this episode Brianna introduces Juicebox: an app that gives you direct access to sex coaches and sex therapists via text! Closeness listeners get a 5-day free trial by using the the code “closeness” to experience it first hand.

In the Juicebox app, you’re paired one on one with a professional sex and relationship coach or counselor who you can text as much as you’d like, anonymously. Imagine getting the help you’ve always wanted without having to leave your house or be face to face with anyone. Find out more by visiting https://www.juiceboxit.com. If you prefer a more personalized approach you can also get help via text at Closeness.

IG @brirader

Twitter: @juiceboxit // @brirader

All listeners will receive a free 5-day trial of 1-on-1 coaching with the promo code “Closeness”.

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And it’s what women want.

In this episode, we explore how the trust and connection built through dance can lead to deeper intimacy and better sex. For women, learning to follow and trust a partner on the dance floor can mirror the dynamics of surrender and connection in a relationship, opening doors to more fulfilling experiences.

We’ll also dive into the fascinating ways movement can help partners connect with their masculine and feminine energies. Whether it’s stepping into the strength and assertiveness of a lead or embracing the grace and responsiveness of a follow, dance teaches us how to embody these dynamics in a way that feels natural and empowering. Imagine using dance as a practice to strengthen your relationship, both emotionally and physically—it’s not just fun, it’s transformative.

 We tackle the thorny issue of jealousy—where it comes from, how it shows up, and, more importantly, how to work through it in a healthy way. Can we take what we know about partner dancing—the trust, the rhythm, the balance—and use it to build stronger, more connected relationships? Spoiler alert: absolutely.

If you’ve ever wondered how the art of dance could teach you to navigate intimacy, tackle jealousy, and tap into your true self, this episode has the answers you’re looking for. Let’s groove into the secret connection between dancing and desire—you won’t want to miss this one.

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Three minutes of moving closely with someone can reveal more about their personality, energy, and intentions than hours of conversation. Crazy, right? Briana takes us deep into this unspoken language, sharing what you can learn about someone simply by sharing a song and a connection.

But it’s not all about the rhythm. In this episode, Briana also tackles the tough stuff, like what to do when someone “ghosts” you—yes, even in the dance world, it happens—and why women sometimes reject men on the dance floor. Her insights? Equal parts eye-opening and empowering, offering a fresh perspective on respect, boundaries, and the subtle dynamics that play out in social settings.

And of course, we couldn’t wrap up without exploring the big question: chemistry. How do you know when it’s there? How can you tell if a connection on the dance floor translates to something deeper in real life? Briana shares her top tips for understanding compatibility both while you’re grooving to the beat and when the music stops.

This interview is packed with fun, wisdom, and a touch of sass—just like Briana herself. Whether you’re a seasoned dancer or someone who’s never set foot on a dance floor, you’ll walk away with fresh insights on connection, chemistry, and maybe even a few new moves. Ready to learn how dance can unlock a whole new world of understanding? Let’s get started.

www.Instagram.com/breezydanceswcs

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Rejection is part of life, but few people truly know how to handle it—or give it—with grace. That’s why we’re breaking it down: how to say no compassionately, without crushing someone’s confidence, and how to receive rejection without letting it derail your sense of self-worth. Mastering this skill isn’t just for dating—it’s essential for life. Whether you’re meeting someone new, in a long-term relationship, or navigating marriage, understanding how to reject (and be rejected) gracefully can make you a better partner, friend, and human being.

This isn’t about sugar-coating; it’s about connecting with empathy while staying true to yourself. Ready to level up your social skills and understand rejection from a whole new angle? Let’s get into it.

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At the heart of Closeness Coaching is this transformative idea: never have sex out of obligation. But how do you balance that with staying open, available, and receptive to intimacy with your partner? It’s a delicate dance, but one that can change your relationship for the better.

This episode dives into the intriguing debate: are women actually more sexual than men? Beyond that, we explore how to tell the difference between a partner who’s genuinely too tired and busy for intimacy versus someone who might be emotionally checked out—or, worse, rejecting you.

We’ll also tackle communication around initiating sex. How do you ask for what you need without it feeling awkward or forced? And if you’ve bought into the belief that men should always initiate, could that mindset be holding you back from getting what you really want?

Whether you’re trying to better understand your own desires or crack the code on intimacy with your partner, this episode is your chance to sort it all out. Tune in—it’s about time for some answers, don’t you think?

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Our passions and hobbies often define us—they’re what light us up, give us purpose, and make life more exciting. For some, these activities are just a fun pastime. For others, they hold the same weight as deeply personal values, like religious beliefs or major life decisions. But what happens when your intimate partner doesn’t share your same enthusiasm? What if, quite simply, they just don’t care about the things you love to do?

Should they feel obligated to attend your events, performances, or games, even if they’re not interested? Or is it unreasonable to expect someone to force themselves into a space where they don’t naturally fit? These are the questions we explore in this episode as we unpack the intersection of passion, partnership, and compromise.

Should Your Partner Support Your Hobbies, No Matter What?

It’s a tricky balance. On the one hand, we crave support from the people closest to us—it’s a way to feel valued and validated. On the other, forcing someone to engage in something they don’t enjoy can lead to resentment and tension.

•The Case for Showing Up: Does attending your partner’s events, even without genuine interest, demonstrate love and commitment? Is it part of the give-and-take that makes relationships work?

•The Case for Personal Freedom: Shouldn’t we respect our partner’s autonomy and allow them to choose how they spend their time? Is insisting on their participation a form of control?

These questions touch on deeper issues of expectations, communication, and the sacrifices we make for love.

Can Expectations and Sacrifices Become Toxic?

Expectations are natural in any relationship, but they can easily spiral into toxic territory if left unchecked. When one partner feels obligated to make sacrifices that don’t align with their interests or values, it can create bitterness and distance. Similarly, demanding unwavering support without considering your partner’s perspective can erode trust and respect.

In this episode, we delve into:

•How to identify when expectations around hobbies are becoming unhealthy.

•The importance of mutual respect and compromise in navigating differing interests.

•The fine line between supportive partnership and overstepping personal boundaries.

What Does Healthy Hobby Communication Look Like?

At the heart of this issue lies the need for honest, empathetic communication. We’ll share strategies for discussing hobbies and expectations with your partner in a way that fosters understanding and avoids conflict.

•Be Clear About Your Needs: Express why your passions matter to you and what kind of support you’d like.

•Respect Their Boundaries: Understand that they may not share your enthusiasm—and that’s okay.

Tune in to discover how to strike the right balance and create harmony between your passions and your relationship. 

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Intimacy isn’t just about physical connection; it’s about tuning in with your whole being. Deep listening means learning to read your partner on a level that goes beyond words—so you don’t have to ask so many questions. It’s about paying attention to her signals, her body language, and her energy to create an experience that feels electric, connected, and completely satisfying. This is intimacy at its best and sets the perfect tone for the ultimate act of closeness: going down on her.

Oral sex for women can be one of the most exquisite and fulfilling experiences—but unlocking her full pleasure requires more than just a goal to make her come. It takes patience, attention, and a willingness to explore.

In Part One of this two-part series, we’ll look at the mental preparation and understanding necessary to turn her on and help her fully let go. There really is an energetic aspect to this. Get ready for a juicy, sensual conversation that will transform your approach to intimacy.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

•Decoding Mixed Signals: Learn what to do when a partner seems unsure or sends conflicting cues.

•Reading Her Desire: Understand the subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways a woman shows she wants more.

•Understanding Stimulation: Why men and women need different kinds of touch to reach peak pleasure.

•Oral Sex as a Journey: Discover why oral isn’t just an isolated act but part of a greater, more sensual experience.

•Recognizing Discomfort: Spot the signs that she might be uncomfortable and how to adjust accordingly.

•The #1 Secret to Great Oral Sex: This single tip will elevate your skills to a higher

 Sensitivity: How to navigate intimate topics like how she smells or tastes with confidence and care.

•Appreciating Her Taste: Celebrate her unique flavor and why it’s an essential part of the experience.

•Talking and Compliments: Learn how words during intimacy can amplify pleasure and connection.

•Recognizing Arousal: What arousal actually looks like in a woman and how to respond.

•Healthy Aggression: Explore what dominance looks like in a way that’s exciting, consensual, and empowering.

•Mastering Teasing: The art of slowing down to build anticipation and intensify pleasure.

Why This Matters

Deep listening and attentive intimacy aren’t just skills—they’re gifts you give to your partner and your relationship that make day to day living even better.

By learning to truly tune in, you’ll create experiences that feel richer, more connected, and deeply satisfying for both of you. Oral sex, when approached with care, curiosity, and confidence, can be one of the most intimate acts you share, and this episode is your roadmap to mastering it.

Ready to unlock the secrets to ultimate satisfaction? Tune in now and take your intimacy to the next level. 

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Closeness Coaching

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In this episode we’ll show you what it looks like when someone is starting to withdraw from you, as well as the twisted truth about what really happens when one of us pulls back. When others withdraw from us, it can make us feel a sense of “forced neediness,” which isn’t healthy for either partner.

We’ll also look at why real communication fails through text and why pretending to be completely “unavailable” at all times not only makes you look bad, but isn’t healthy for intimacy. Finally, we’ll explain why expecting others to “get the hint” is a disaster when it comes to rejection.

When we learn healthy boundaries and own the ability to risk the relationship for what we stand for, we can say goodbye in a healthy way, rather than holding on to someone who is toxic for us. This is Part two of a two-part series.

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In this episode we’ll show you what it looks like when someone is starting to withdraw from you, as well as the twisted truth about what really happens when one of us pulls back. When others withdraw from us, it can make us feel a sense of “forced neediness,” which isn’t healthy for either partner.

We’ll also look at why real communication fails through text and why pretending to be completely “unavailable” at all times not only makes you look bad, but isn’t healthy for intimacy. Finally, we’ll explain why expecting others to “get the hint” is a disaster when it comes to rejection.

When we learn healthy boundaries and own the ability to risk the relationship for what we stand for, we can say goodbye in a healthy way, rather than holding on to someone who is toxic for us. This is Part one of a two-part series.

Are you ready to come closer?

Closeness Coaching for sex, intimacy, relationships and quality of life: 

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In this follow-up episode, we delve deeper into the roots of arguments and manipulative behaviors in relationships—and, more importantly, how to resolve them. From communication pitfalls to accountability issues, this episode breaks down actionable strategies to stop the cycle of fighting to foster healthier, more respectful interactions.

Why Certain Phrases and Tactics Backfire

If you’ve ever said, “I don’t want to argue,”  you likely found it only escalated the situation. This is because you’re starting an argument by saying this. It’s is a prime example of a well-meaning phrase that often backfires, leading to more tension. Similarly, some people intentionally start an argument only to shut it down immediately after, just to have the last word or feel like they’ve “won.” These tactics create frustration and prevent resolution. Direct communication is often the antidote—being clear and straightforward eliminates passive-aggressive behavior and keeps the conversation on track.

Accountability and Respect Are Key

Many fights stem from a lack of accountability. Flaky excuses like “My friend needs me” or being perpetually late due to procrastination. (“But I was really tired”) show a disregard for your partner’s time and priorities. Relationships thrive on mutual respect, and showing up—both physically and emotionally—goes a long way. Expecting reliability, such as being on time or following through on commitments, is not unreasonable; it’s essential for building trust.

Communication Tools That Work

Cold, vague texts or procrastinating by avoiding important conversations only fuel misunderstandings. Instead, prioritize clarity and respect in your relationship, especially when dealing with men. Simple tools like time management strategies can also help eliminate stressors that lead to arguments—such as tardiness or neglecting shared responsibilities.

When You Can’t Fix It Alone

Not every argument can be solved in the moment or by one person. Sometimes, external help—whether it’s a mediator, coach, or neutral space to process—is necessary. Closeness also specializes in these services!

Recognizing when you need support is a sign of strength, not weakness. And if a situation feels truly unresolvable, knowing when to let go of the fight can save both partners from unnecessary exhaustion.

This episode is a practical guide to cutting through the noise of arguments, holding yourself accountable, and creating a relationship built on mutual respect and effective communication.

Are you ready to Come Closer?

Tune in to learn how to spot manipulative tactics, resolve fights, and build a healthier connection with your partner. For more insights on love, intimacy, and communication, visit Closeness.com.

CHAPTERS: 

0:00 Introduction and recap 

2:32 I don’t want to argue 

7:06 Starting and argument and then shutting it down 

10:20 Reading way too deep into things 

14:30 Why direct communication is best 

16:40 Deprioritizing your partner without warning and punishing them 

19:06 Excuses, excuses 

23:05 The danger of NOT having expectations 

28:50 Total lack of accountability 

34:50 But my friend needs me 

36:35 Poor texting examples 

39:30 Dangers of procrastination 

42:50 Solving age old issues of taking out the trash 

45:15 Sometimes you just can’t fix it yourself 

46:10 Being disrespectful of your partners time 

49:58 Excessive tardiness 

51:34 A useful time management tool 

52:48 A second tool for time 

53:46 Blaming it on my friend and self-victimization  full 14 1 https://closeness.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/HOW-TO-SOLVE-FIGHTS-2-1.png Part 2: Fighting, arguments and manipulation tactics solved false no 01:09:03 No no https://closeness.com/podcast/why-couples-fight-questions-gaslighting-playing-dirty-part-1/ Sat, 07 Jul 2018 21:56:06 +0000 http://sneaky-need.flywheelsites.com/?post_type=podcast&p=907 Solving Conflict (Part 1)

In this episode, we explore the messy world of arguments, manipulation tactics, and how to resolve conflict in a better and more healthy way than what you’re used to. Whether you’re interrogating your partner, misinterpreting their actions, or are stuck in a cycle of accusations, this episode will help you reimagine how you approach disagreements and poor reactions.

Questioning, Tone, and Playing Fair

One mistake in couples quarrels is asking questions you don’t really want to hear or know the answers to as this often leads to resentment and escalated tension. Similarly, interrogating your partner with accusatory remarks, and implying manipulatively that they did something wrong to bate and test them is a surefire way to spark defensiveness or even bring a relationship to a screeching halt. Your tone also plays a huge role in how your message is received. Even valid concerns can feel like attacks when delivered with the wrong energy. Remember, fairness in fights is critical: are you arguing the point, or are you trying to argue all sides to win?

Stop Accusing, Start Understanding

Accusations, implications, and insinuations are relationship kryptonite. If you’re constantly accusing your partner of things they haven’t done or are implying wrongdoing without knowing all or any of the facts, you are killing your relationship.  Humans are notmind readers—if you need something, say it clearly instead of assuming they should “just know how I feel or what they should have done.”

And while feelings are valid and certainly may matter to you, they’re not always accurate. Taking a moment to question whether your emotions are driven by actual intuition or fear before launching into an argument can work wonders. 

Gaslighting, Reverse Gaslighting, and Intuition

Everyone thinks everyone is gas lighting these days. But when it actually happens, gaslighting can destroy trust in a relationship. This episode also introduces the concept of “reverse gaslighting.”  It’s a reminder that being “right” in an argument doesn’t always matter if your partner is left feeling unseen or unheard. Intuition is powerful, but be honest with yourself: is it really intuition, or are you letting fear cloud your judgment?

It’s not about blame, but rather about harnessing the ability to  recognize destructive patterns and build healthier ways to communicate. Fighting doesn’t have to be the end of intimacy connection—it can be the beginning of understanding.

Ready to Come Closer?

Check out today’s episode to learn how to navigate arguments, avoid manipulative tactics, and build a stronger connection with your partner. Visit Closeness.com for more tips on love, intimacy, and communication. 

CHAPTERS:

0:00 Intro

2:00 Asking questions you don’t want the answer to 

10:12 Questioning and interrogating 

12:00 A tool to indentify the style of questions you’re being asked 

15:05 Your tone matters 

18:10 The best tool for asking the right questions 

21:55 When the person asking you questions also punishes you 

24:35 You’re not obligated to answer every question asked of you 

26:30 Fabricating stories that never happened 

32:56 Are you playing fair? 

39:30 Gaslighting 

42:00 “Reverse Gaslighting” 

47:35 Do inaccurate or wrong feeligns matter? 

52:45 Accsations, implications, insinautions and inferences 

55:10 People aren’t mind readers 

58:25 You’re not always right 

1:00:15 Is it your intuition or is it fear? 

1:09:10 Winding down 

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https://closeness.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/HOW-TO-SOLVE-FIGHTS.png Why Couples Fight: Questions, Gaslighting & Playing Dirty — Part 1 true no 01:10:38 Yes no https://closeness.com/podcast/what-actually-happens-in-a-sex-coaching-or-sexual-guidance-session-at-closeness/ Wed, 04 Jul 2018 23:57:57 +0000 http://sneaky-need.flywheelsites.com/?post_type=podcast&p=805 Are you curious about what really happens during an in-person sex coaching session? This episode takes you behind the scenes to show exactly why Closeness is renowned for creating breakthroughs and delivering sizzling results. 

From the moment you walk in, you’ll feel welcomed into a space that’s safe, open, and pressure-free. Sessions are tailored to meet your unique needs—whether you’re struggling with intimacy, navigating communication issues, rebuilding trust, or looking to reignite chemistry with your partner.

We’ll explore the variety of approaches used to help you connect. Nothing is required and your comfort and safety come first:

•Optional interactive Demos: guided experiences, interactions and demos designed to model confidence, great communication, and when appropriate: touch, assertiveness and seduction. Sometimes seeing (and feeling) it in action makes all the difference with your partner. 

•Conversations That Matter: Talking is always the first and often only step. A deep, honest look at your desires, needs challenges, and goals. There’s no judgment here—just real talk, support, and straightforward advice that works.

•Practical Techniques: From creating sensual attraction to handling difficult conversations, you’ll leave with tools you can actually use to bring passion and connection back into your relationship.

Closeness coaching is not therapy—it’s real, actionable guidance that moves the needle right away. Whether you come solo or as a couple, the goal is to give you clarity, confidence, and the skills to elevate your love life.

If you’ve been wondering what sets Closeness apart, this episode answers all your questions and invites you to experience the magic for yourself.

Are you ready to come closer? Visit closeness.com to learn more or book your first session.

How do we unlock the ability to be comfortable in our own skin? How can we find comfort in touching ourselves and in front of our partner?

For our male listeners: Can you stay connected to your partner while helping her get there without zoning out or losing presence? Did you know you can get your partner wet without even touching her? Make a splash, and and let’s dive deep into this episode.

Are you ready to come closer?

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In this episode we’ll explore this and several other concepts including: 

– Understanding word play and loaded words 

– What effects repressing your sexuality has on you 

– Understanding what happens to sex when you’re married

– Why picking your type really plays in to sexual desire and your orgasm

– A deep exploration about female orgasm 

– Why being solely orgasm focused means you lose half the fun 

– How long it takes to come 

– The appropriate time to be destination oriented 

– What to do if you can come by yourself but not with your partner 

– The two types of sexual comfort required to come 

– What women can do to be more active participants during sex 

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Let’s be real: Women are magnetically drawn to men who know exactly what they want.

Forget pick-up lines and bedroom tricks. Do you want great chemistry and attraction? Decisiveness is your secret weapon. We’re talking about that electric confidence that makes her lean in, not pull away.

This isn’t about being aggressive, domineering or hyper masculine. It’s about being intentional. About showing up with such clear purpose that she can’t help but be intrigued. When you move through the world with laser-focused direction, you’re basically broadcasting “I’ve got my life together” – and trust me, that’s incredibly sexy.

Want to know how to flip her attraction switch? How to go from “just another guy” to someone she can’t stop thinking about?

Tune in. This episode is about to decode the art of magnetic masculine energy – and trust me, it’s nothing like what you’ve heard before.

Get ready to transform your game.

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 These seemingly innocent words carry more weight than we realize, potentially sabotaging our chances for genuine connection.

Imagine the invisible walls we unconsciously build in our daily interactions: avoiding eye contact with a fellow shopper, reflexively stepping back when someone new approaches, or treating unfamiliar faces as if they’re invisible. Each of these moments represents a missed opportunity for a meaningful interaction.

This episode explores the subtle art of connection—how our language and micro-behaviors can either invite intimacy or push people away. We’ll uncover the surprising ways our communication patterns impact our relationships, revealing how small, intentional shifts can transform our social experiences from distant and guarded to open and authentic.

Get ready to challenge your assumptions about connection, learn to break down invisible barriers, and discover the profound power of being truly present with those around you—even those who might initially feel like “strangers.”

Would you like me to refine this further? The summary maintains the podcast’s introspective tone while making the language more dynamic and inviting.

Are you ready to come closer?

Visit closeness.com for in person coaching and more sexual guidance.

You can also subscribe to Closeness on YouTube

Are you ready to come closer?

Visit closeness.com for in person coaching and more sexual guidance.

You can also subscribe to Closeness on YouTube

And check this out: We often complain that others “waste our time,” yet we’re guilty of squandering it ourselves. How? By endlessly scrolling through social media, watching Netflix, hanging out, chilling etc. We squander time by holding on to toxic connections with others that  we know aren’t serving us. We continue physical relationships with people we don’t truly care about. Or worse, by we’ll string along—neither committing fully nor letting them go.

Sometimes we avoid ending a relationship because we think we’re being kind, sparing their feelings. But let’s face it—it’s usually about avoiding the discomfort of necessary action. True closeness and connection require courage: to communicate clearly, to make space for what we do want, and to honor others’ time just as much as our own.

If you want deeper relationships, start valuing people’s time—including yours. Communicate with honesty and compassion, and don’t settle for half-hearted connections.

Are you ready to come closer?

Visit closeness.com for in person coaching and more sexual guidance.

You can also subscribe to Closeness on YouTube

If we’re honest, ignoring someone’s advances often does convey disinterest, but only part of the time. In other cases, our silence could be rooted in poor communication skills, shyness, or even uncertainty about our own feelings.

Instead of clearly expressing interest—or politely declining—we often respond to invitations with baffling, irrelevant updates about our physical location. When someone asks you out and your response is, “I’m in the shower,” “I’m at work,” or “I’m at the beach,” you’re not just speaking in fragments—you’re unintentionally sabotaging your chances.

These non-answers leave your suitor confused and discouraged, making it seem as though you’re brushing them off in a manipulative way, even if that wasn’t your intent. The solution? A simple yet transformative addition: but.

“I’m not interested, BUT I’d love to see you as a friend.”

“I’m busy tonight, BUT tomorrow works perfectly!”

By using “but,” you can turn down an invitation while still leaving the door open for clarity, connection, or future opportunities.

Ready to come closer. Visit closeness.com for in person coaching and more sexual guidance.

You can also subscribe to Closeness on YouTube

In this episode, Tari unpacks why chronic busyness and lateness aren't personality quirks. They're behavioral signals — and the people you're trying to attract are reading them clearly. Whether it's the blanket "can't, sorry" text, the day-of cancellation, the Instagram post that somehow got made but the message didn't get returned — you've been seen. And being too busy, chronically, is making you significantly less attractive to the people who matter most.

You'll walk away from this episode with the exact scripts to use instead of the default "busy" response, a clear picture of what your behavior is actually costing the person on the other end, and one simple rule that repairs most of it immediately: always say more.

This episode is for anyone in a relationship where the chase has gone cold, anyone in early dating wondering why interest keeps evaporating, and anyone who has been on the receiving end of someone who never quite had time. If that's you, this conversation is going to name what's been happening in a way that finally makes sense.

Ready to work on this in real time? [Link to related episode: What It Means When She Says She Needs Space] explores the other side of availability — what to do when distance enters a relationship that used to feel close.

For personalized coaching on intimacy and relationships, visit [Closeness.com](https://closeness.com).

The moments leading up to intimacy—the anticipation, connection, and discovery—are often just as profound as the intimacy itself. But what happens after that first experience? A dynamic begins to take shape, often filled with unspoken expectations about what happens next, subtle cues that most people do not pick up on, and decisions that can either deepen a bond or quietly unravel its potential.

In Part 2 of How to have sex with someone new for the first time, we explore the balance of these pivotal moments: how to approach sex with intention, recognizing the signals of desire, and avoid pushing too hard or moving too fast. From understanding why men are often expected to initiate to empowering women to be more assertive, we uncover what it takes to navigate these encounters with confidence, care, and awareness.

Key highlights:

•How to Tell if She’s Turned On: Learn to read her body language and energy and feel her desire.

•Navigating First Encounters: Tips for when things are progressing, how to move them forward and what specifically to do to not to ruin the moment.

•Timing and Connection: Thoughts on waiting for sex, one-night stands, and what happens when she’s ready before you are.

•Listening to Your Body: Tune into yourself to make the experience more authentic and satisfying.

This episode is explicit, raw, and thought-provoking, offering insights for anyone—regardless of gender or orientation—seeking a deeper, more connected approach to intimacy.

If you’re ready to elevate the way you connect, approach, and share yourself with someone new, this is your guide to navigating those unforgettable first experiences.

Chapters:

0:00 Introductions

3:09 Why a man has to initiate

15:36 Can women be more assertive and aggressive?

18:20 How to know if she’s turned on by you

19:52 Tips if things are progressing well with your date

24:00 Why pushing too hard can ruin it

25:28 Do you really need to like your date to have some fun?

26:58 One night stands

27:34 Listen to your body

33:48 Story time: A lifelong plutonic girlfriend

35:02 Thoughts on waiting to have sex

38:52 When she’s ready for sex before you are

Learn more by reading about Closeness Coaching

Closeness on YouTube

You’ve built a connection, the chemistry is real, and now you’re headed to the bedroom. But here’s the thing: do you know what to do specifically that will make that first time unforgettable? First impressions in intimacy matter—they can set the tone for your relationship moving forward. One wrong move might fizzle the spark, but with the right approach that you’ll learn in the episode, you can leave your partner craving more.

•Make Your Partner Feel Valued: It’s not just about what you do, but the energy you give her when you do it, and how you carry yourself. It’s about being present and  ensuring she feels seen, safe, and desired from the start.

•Understand Subtle Signals: Master the art of reading her cues, from body language to energy, so you can create a deeper and more meaningful connection.

•Create an Experience She’ll Remember: Go beyond the basics to make intimacy enjoyable, comfortable, and something both of you want to revisit.

This episode shares practical advice for men and women—offering insights including what not to do, the importance of pacing, and how to communicate without overthinking or oversharing. Whether you’re new to intimacy or looking to refine your approach, these tips will ensure your first time together feels as good as it should.

If you’re ready to move past awkward moments and into meaningful connection, tune in to discover how to get it right—because when it’s done well, intimacy isn’t just physical, it’s unforgettable.

Ready to come closer. Visit closeness.com for coaching and more sexual guidance.

Chapters:0:00 Introductions5:56 The first things to do when she arrives at your house8:00 Grand overtures18:59 Don’t kiss24:30 Tips for female listeners37:11 Asking 50 questions and final thoughts37:58 Talking too much41:32 Women and men communicate very differently

In this inaugural episode of  the Closeness Podcast, we lay the foundation for a transformative journey into the world of sexual tension, chemistry, and pleasure. With a unique approach that blends sensuality, sophistication, and authenticity, this episode introduces you to the art of creating deeper, healthier more meaningful connections… sure. But also teaches you, in no uncertain terms, how to have better, hotter sex.  

Whether you’re single, married, or somewhere in between, this episode sets the stage for what’s to come—offering profound insights and real-world guidance to help you better understand yourself, your partner, and sexual dynamics. Learn why connection and closeness go far beyond physical touch and explore how small shifts in communication, presence, and intentionality can lead to profound breakthroughs in love and desire.

The Closeness Podcast is like having complimentary, private coach,  speaking sensually to you right into your ears—teaching you how to enhance pleasure, strengthen emotional bonds, and restore chemistry back into your relationships. This introduction is the perfect starting point for anyone looking to elevate their understanding of intimacy and create relationships that are both meaningful and fulfilling.

Are you ready to come closer? Let the journey begin. Visit closeness.com for more insights and in person, personalized coaching.