CLOSENESS
SEX COACHING
Intimacy Coaching
You hire a professional intimacy coach to help you make sense of what is true in your unique situation. It’s likely that you’re here for one of several reasons: Your partner wants more closeness or sex than you feel like you can currently offer, you would like more intimacy or sex than your partner can give, there is an attraction issue, you need me to mitigate or mediate a delicate conversation, you want to learn more about your body and experience more pleasure, or you want to get out of your current situation and you want to make sure you’ve tried everything.
I specialize in quickly getting to the truth and tastefully identifying all of the blindspots so you don’t have spend years in therapy. Then I show and teach you, at your comfort level, what you can do about it.
LET’S GET CLOSER
Finding the right therapist, sex coach or intimacy coach can be tricky. Which do you choose? Will this person get me? Is it safe? Will they be the right fit for us? Can we talk about more than just sex? And oh! He’s a man!
With over a decade of positive experiences, I can safely say, that the answer to those questions is very likely yes! If you’re struggling with almost anything related to sex, intimacy, communication, confidence, assertiveness, seduction or relationship issues, you’re in the right place.
I guide, teach, advise, council, educate, facilitate and mediate. I help remove barriers to intimacy with your partner and within yourself.
We can navigate all those difficult to have conversations that you’ve been avoiding.
THINGS ARE A LITTLE DIFFERENT HERE
When you first arrive to the office, it’s easy. Simply sit down and talk to me. Nothing else is required. Traditional and effective.
However, for those who really want to jump start their learning, nothing beats the power of action and kinesthetic learning. With your consent, I also offer suggestive, safe, slow building exercises, demos, that teach you how to actually put into action what we’ve discussed.
I teach you how to make your female partner feel desired, wanted and pursued. This is one of the most important gifts you can give her.
This might look like how to approach, touch and emotionally connect with her. How to create hot chemistry on the spot or restore it. Figuring out what turns her on and how to pleasure her. Initiate and build sexual tension WITHOUT having sex.
The rules are simple: We move at your pace, and we figure out what you both want. Then I teach you how to get it.
WHAT WOMEN WANT
I teach something that you won’t find anywhere else: how to be more assertive, confident and natural with your partner in a way that women find sexually electrifying and thrilling.
Almost every man wants to give his partner a hot and fun experience, but not only are most men completely unaware of how to do this… almost no woman wants to teach her partner how to do it either. Therefore, what she really wants and needs remains a mystery- sometimes for decades.
Sometimes that happens in the course of a few minutes and other times it may take a session or two. But you will never be expected to “jump into the sex stuff.” Unless that is specifically something that you want to address immediately.
CLOSENESS OFFERINGS
Some of the best couple's counseling you can get
HAVE BETTER SEX TONIGHT
Clients who have gone through traditional forms of therapy, sex therapy, psychotherapy or marriage and family counseling, feel that the advice they received was too general or bland. They tell me that they can’t dive to deeply into the sexual stuff if at all. They come to see me when all else fails.
Sexual intimacy, and all of its intricacies, requires more nuance and awareness. There are frankly, very specific interactions and things that need to be done in order for sex and intimacy to work long term. Therapists are a wonderful and necessary asset for our mental and emotional health, (I have one of my own!) But when you’re looking to get help with the things that no one is willing to talk to about publicly, where do you go for help?
Who do you talk to about polarity, chemistry, magnetism? How do you help or encourage your man to be more masculine, your woman to be more sensual and feminine?
Things like assertiveness, confidence, intensity, primal passion, connection and excitement… these are my specialities.
YOU’VE NEVER EXPERIENCED SOMETHING LIKE THIS BEFORE
If you want different, you need something different. You need intimacy coaching and I think you could benefit from a sex coach.
In my office, you can share your intimate and sexual thoughts, your needs, desires and truths not only to get them out there, but to actually do something about them!
Yes of course: safe space, no judgement, your fantasies are welcome… but we go so much deeper.
It’s incredible what getting to your truth can do for you as a couple. What is the TRUTH about your relationship… Is she way more sexual than you? Does he need to play catch up? Do you both just need to learn a new skill?
During our sessions together, I read the room, use sensual language and teach you body language that you’re comfortable with. I guide you and your partner in a respectful, suggestive manner that allows transformation to happen immediately. That means you watch it before your eyes. Not a year from now. Not six months from now. Right now.
A message for Highly Sexual Women
ARE YOU A VERY SEXUAL WOMAN AND OR INSATIABLE?
Many women who feel hyper sexual find that their partner or partners simply cannot keep up. If you crave and think about sex all the time, here’s a little quiz for some self-reflection:
Does your past or current relationship leave you feeling unwanted or undesired?
Does sex feel like a need and at times make it difficult for you to concentrate or focus?
Does asking for it, feel like a total turn-off or leave you feeling less aroused?
Do you wish your partner would just take you or have his way with you?
Are you frustrated with very little, if any reciprocation from your partner, so that when you initiate, it leaves you feeling even more frustrated?
Do you love your partner deeply and care for them, but find that your body is constantly craving something different or not responding the way it used to?
Do you question whether your present or past partners want or desire you because they are reluctant, timid, don’t initiate, shy away from or reject your sexuality?
Do you feel like the sex you do have is brief, monotonous, unimaginative and lacks excitement?
Do you crave other erotic experiences outside of the relationship or outside of the norm?
Do you avoid letting your primal side out for fear that it will overwhelm, or that you might be shamed or made to feel bad for it?
Can you come and come and come some more?
Is it hard for you to understand why our partner wouldn’t be pursuing you all the time?
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ABOUT THIS?
If you answered yes to three or more of the previous questions – you might be a woman. Kidding kidding. Answering yes to several of these questions is very common. I can’t begin to tell you how often women who feel this book sessions. You’re not alone. it’s as uncommon as you may think, and this brand of intimacy coaching will give you answers!
When you hear me talking about getting down to what is true, this is what I mean. We very clearly, accurately and explicitly help you figure out what you crave, what you actually want or need, what boundaries you have and most importantly HOW to get you what you want. Is it possible to create the kinds of experiences you desire. Sometimes yes and other times some changes need to be made. Either way I’ll guide you in the right direction.
Often and surprisingly, women feel forced to choose between a parter who they love and cherish and a partner who they WANT to fuck. I facilitate bridging that gap.
Why it's important for the female partner to come in
Indecisiveness can often be a part of female nature. So is not knowing yourself. Not knowing what you want, and not wanting or knowing how to teach your man how to give you what you want. Many women have an unspoken expectation that their partner should just know how to please her or that he should figure it out.
What do you want him to do? Know how and when to touch you, lead you and turn you on. All of this should be done in a confident and attractive way.
If you’ve been in a long term relationship, you know that this isn’t the way the cookie crumbles. This isn’t something he can learn by coming in by himself and simply talking about it. Action is needed.
It’s amazing what calm masculine presence, assertiveness and a little confidence can do to help *you* open and receive pleasure.
Women generally do not want to teach a man how to seduce her or really get her going in a way that is missing from so many relationships today.
This is why it’s important for the female partner to be present when intimacy coaching and sexual guidance comes into play.
Sometimes a girl has just got to come in and get some things off her chest! Things she doesn’t dare share with her girlfriends or anyone else for that matter! Sometimes girlfriends and female therapists are not always the right answer.
By giving you space to get your thoughts out in a clean and confidential way, I help you get to know yourself and get to your truth.
I encourage you to read through some of the countless incredible reviews on Google, Yelp, and here on the Closeness website if you’re skeptical.
I really do understand:
Even though you’re coming to see the “sex coach,” or you specifically sought out intimacy coaching, I know that there is more to life than sex and penetration. We never need to start our session with any of that or talk about sex at all.
In fact, none of our sessions *need* to focus on sex or intimacy at all if other things take priority first.
I can help guide you to be with your yourself in a way that gets your needs met and doesn’t feel compromising. I can teach your man how to slow down, take his time and be patient and softer (or firmer) in his approach even when it comes to his communication style.
The Erotic
A decade in practice has shown me that most women are still very curious and and turned on by many things no matter how docile or innocent they may present on the outside.
Who do you talk to about these things with? Where do you go to explore them before before going all out?
It’s hard to think of one place where a woman can go to safely but pleasurably get to know or understand her erotic side without having to perform. Without having to worry if her “no” will be heard and respected… And especially without feeling expected to give more of herself. More than she’s ready for. More confusion and more pressure.
As a woman, you may truly feel stuck in your head, with never-ending thoughts that pull you out of the moment. Most women don’t have strategies for this, but I do! While sexual tension is important, stressing yourself out mentally and not knowing how to feel more relaxed and allow excitement and curiosity to circulate through you can be a huge hindrance.
I have found over the years that many women seem to live a double life. They want desperately to get to know themselves sexually, they crave intense experiences and yearn to be taken or taken on an erotic adventure! Often, some even want to be taken, without any conversation. They hope that it will simply happen. They wait for it to happen. But their partners don’t seen to execute. They offer the same old interactions. The same old sex that begins with her partner asking or begging to have sex with her.
All of these reasons are why I created Closeness. I can consensually guide you and your partner to discover what excites you. Working at your comfort level, your partner will clearly see – in no uncertain terms – what turns you on and what turns you off. We’ll learn verbal and non-verbal communication, eye contact, distancing, approach, pressure. It’s critical for a man to understand how to modulate or inspire his intensity and passion. We’ can also un-layer bad habits and quirks that may get in the way of hot or passionate intimacy.
While I do primarily work with couples, if you don’t have a partner, you can come for intimacy coaching on your own. We can talk. And maybe build on a series of demonstrations and interactions together that help you understand yourself on a much deeper level, leaving you feeling very well cared for.
The kind of atmosphere that makes you feel cozy and safe:
SOOTHING
The suite boasts a 180 degree, rainforest inspired view of nature with stunning floor to ceiling glass windows. Enjoy sprawling views, soothing art, velvet furniture, mood lighting and oversized down pillows… it’s the real deal.
SENSUAL
Everything is refined and plush, the way a sex coaching office should feel. A soothing atmosphere, large floor mirrors, a tantra chair, and a private exit are just a few of the features that make Closeness a unique sensory experience!
SERVICE AREA: SAN DIEGO and LA
Closeness sex coaching services all areas of San Diego including Del Mar, La Jolla, Hillcrest, Downtown San Diego. We use two HEPA filtration systems for great air flow. Heaters in the winter and AC for the warm season. Bottled Voss water and Pellegrino or sparkling pineapple spritzers available upon request.
Terms, Conditions and Incentives:
INITIAL INVESTMENT - HOW CLOSENESS WORKS
INITIAL INVESTMENT
You can book a session directly on my Calendly by clicking here, or you can call us directly to schedule.
Use your credit card on Calendly, or send a Venmo or CashApp to “Closeness” after scheduling.
You may reschedule or cancel your intimacy coaching session anytime up to 48 hours in advance to not have it count as one session.
All missed, cancelled or rescheduled appointments within the 48 hour window prior to your appointment will forfeit one of our sessions. We can then schedule for any other time.
BILLING & PAYMENT
After the first hour, billing is in 20 minute increments, not by the minute
Generally sessions run 60, 80 100 or 120 minutes
If you are limited on time due to financial constraints or you need to leave early, please advise me at the beginning of our intimacy coaching session
Accepted Payment methods: Cash, Venmo, Apple Pay, Bitcoin, Zelle, CashApp and all major credit cards.
Missed or canceled appointments are billed for one full hour of time
THE TWO HOUR COACHING WINDOW
You are not obligated to do a two hour coaching session however many clients deeply appreciate having the option
Unlike other therapists and coaches who abruptly end their sessions at the 50-55 minute mark regardless of your emotional state, Closeness offers the luxury of extending your billable time out up to two hours AND beyond.
Most clients love not harshly ending a session right in the middle of all the good stuff!
The two-hour window allows for more robust intimacy coaching and you only pay for the time that we use.
Any outstanding balance is finalized after our session or we can use more time from your package.
Some couples do 3 or even 4 hour sessions. If I have the time, and we’re really gaining traction, we can keep going so you don’t feel rushed.
WHAT TO EXPECT FROM AN INTIMACY COACHING SESSION
I SHOW YOU HOW IT’S DONE, BUT SAFETY FIRST
Every intimacy coaching session always begins with talking and getting acquainted, to get comfortable and build trust.
We figure out why you’re here and what you’d like to get out of your session. In many cases, we may simply talk for the entire session.
If what you are looking for as a couple is to build more intimacy, you will also have the option to interact with each other in real time with my guidance. This usually starts with eye contact, or clear, clean, basic interactions.
We can escalate things at a glacial speed stopping any time, or move things quickly based on your comfort level. From here, you’ll actually witness your chemistry begin to build in a way you female partner likely hasn’t seen in your before.
Experiential change in how you interact around your partner happens at an order of magnitude greater here than with traditional talk only methods.
By engaging and interacting with each other in a safe, fun and consensually suggestive way, desire increases and emotional trust gets repaired. Plus you get the added bonus of building and sexual attraction right before your eyes. Usually women are much more comfortable with this part.
To sum up, you’ll get respectful, kind, real-time feedback and coaching on what excites you, shuts you down, opens you up or turns you on without the need to get undressed. All interactions are optional, consent based and effective.
Remember: Talk only sessions with zero interactions are always perfectly fine.
FAST RESULTS, AT A SPEED THAT WORKS FOR YOU
Like listening to my podcast, it doesn’t take long to see results or identify what needs to change. You will leave your first session with a ton of new insights, as well as multiple ways to confidently initiate with your partner or future partner.
You can apply everything I teach in session in office or immediately after.
To that end, if something isn’t clear, we can, with everyone’s consent, show you how to get the result you’re looking for by modeling it or demonstrating it in a way that works for you.
I am your personal advocate and take a warm, sensual approach to intimacy coaching. I do not take sides, regardless of who contacted me first.
KEEP IT CLASSY
Let’s face it, we’re talking about some pretty hot and intimate stuff here. Sometimes unexpected emotions and anxieties around sex and intimacy do come up.
It is absolutely ok for things to get spicy and exciting in your session. It is also perfectly fine if they do not. It´s ok to feel excitement. This is, after all the point of why you came for intimacy coaching! If you find yourself a little aroused, or even turned on, or if it feels like your sexual chemistry is building and being restored, that means you’re doing it right!
There are no fluids exchanged. No one needs to get undressed. Intimacy coaching is not pornographic.
Closeness coaching needs to be experienced:
Without a doubt, Tari is THE BEST! I had been researching premarital counseling and intimacy coaching when I discovered Tari’s Closeness podcast. I was immediately hooked and thrilled to find out he offered in-person coaching. From the first communication Tari was welcoming, proactive in accommodating. My husband and I both look forward to our sessions, whether it’s a couples sessions or one on one. To be sure, Tari has a superpower in translating my thoughts into a language my husband can understand. He has been able to dissect so many issues, anxieties and behaviors and then transform them with his exercises and expertise. We have been able to work through heavy issues (and comical issues) but always leave his office feeling happy and closer than ever!
Working with Tari and his intimacy coaching program has been the best investment in our marriage and myself!
Abi Gault, San Diego
OPTIONAL INTERACTIONS
BETTER RESULTS
Want to help her feel incredible? I create a space where talking, unique interactions, excitement and arousal can all coexist in the same room.
Understanding your body language and what you're doing when you approach her is paramount. The way you hold and carry yourself in intimate situations matters, even if you're just walking across the room to her.
Sometimes we have to un-layer bad habits first. This includes talking too much, being overly careful, soft or rough when you touch her.
We must also dismantle the belief that trying something different means that you are acting, role playing or not being yourself.
We can transform your tone, energy, body language, and approach so that your partner actually responds favorably, while still remaining who you are! This will help her feel safe to open up and make her find you more attractive.
SEXUAL TENSION
Couples often think that foreplay or warming her up takes hours, but it can actually be done in minutes or even seconds. It's all about building sexual tension and making a connection.
If you don't know what that means, I'll teach you and show you.
It's less about thinking or doing and more about the way you hold and carry yourself. You cannot logic your way through it, or "handle her" the way you would in a business setting.
Sex is not a one trick situation.
You open her with your presence and connection. I'll introduce you to the domain of the erotic and how to fan the flames of desire. In simple terms, I'll teach you how to get her wet from your energy alone and ready for sexual intimacy from how you interact with her.
Eroticism can't flourish in the suffocating space of control, mechanical movement, and silliness. Too much comfort or overbearing dominance will kill the mood.
WHAT DOES SHE WANT?
Does she like the slow burn and build up, or does she get antsy when you're too slow because she needs more passion and intensity? Are you being to rough or not intense enough? Being able to read these cues is what will make the difference at home.
Most women want to start slow then ramp up to the perfect intensity. Other women are calibrated to crave more immediate erotic and overtly sexual advances, while others like to be constantly teased. In an intimacy coaching session we figure out your woman's sexual strategy and give her what works while also taking care of your needs!
To be clear, I teach you how to dial it back, or ramp it up based on her desire and yours, in real time, so you can visibly see her arousal - or rejection. We do it again and again using her excitement level as an indicator of whether it's working or not.
As an intimacy coach, I teach healthy assertiveness. After you process your session you'll feel more competent and confident in leading her.
FOLLOW THROUGH
When your partner feels turned on simply from being in your presence, you know you've done something right. No words are required because you have built powerful chemistry. She responds by getting excited and wanting to be sexual with you. There is no need for convincing, begging or asking.
You simply cannot learn things like this in a therapist's or sex therapists office.
It's off the table.
But now that you've done it and seen it in real time, you can put it to use at home. Great chemistry can be learned. It can be restored and you can make your woman see you differently or at least the way she used to. And yes, I can teach you how to harness all of that IF as a man you're coachable and willing to put in the 'work,' which I consider the fun part.
This level of attentiveness and intimacy coaching is unavailable anywhere else!
I AM YOUR SEXUAL TRANSLATOR
It doesn't take much to get your partner excited
Did you know women can shift quickly from being frustrated and emotional to incredibly turned on in seconds?
As your sex coach, I have the rare ability to put into words and action, that which your partner simply cannot. I can teach you how to speak to and interact with your woman in a way that lights her up and makes her want to want you.
I TEACH CONFIDENCE, ASSERTIVENESS, SEXUAL COMPETENCE AND PRESENCE.
You do not need to come in for purely sexual reasons.
I can say the words you struggle to say, and help you navigate subjects that are too hot to tackle on your own.
It’s also powerful to have someone to talk to who is outside of your friend group to give you a professional opinion as opposed to, “you deserve better.”
WHEN YOUR WORDS GET LOST IN TRANSLATION, I AM YOUR SEXUAL TRANSLATOR
SHOULD WE BREAK UP?
One of the more difficult parts of my job is helping you figure out what to do once we get to the truth of your situation, when the truth is that you are not compatible. If you’re brave enough to face that head on, I can gently and respectfully help you navigate through some of these tougher choices.
Often clients text or call me to ask if they should leave. I am in the business of Closeness. I will help you reach your truth but not on a phone call or text and likely not without meeting the person!
Before we can begin to restore what has been damaged, we need to discover what’s true. Do you actually want to stay in this and work through it? Are you open to restoring trust with your partner? Will they do the work with you?
These answers may seem obvious, but they aren’t so easy to answer. Not when love, family, status, lifestyle and children are involved. If your partner uses language like, “I’m here aren’t I?” They usually will not do the work.
Through couple’s counseling and intimacy coaching, I will personally help you discover what is real and true so that you can make choices that serve your entire relationship. Sometimes that means helping you separate in a safe and respectful way. Though I do always aim for Closeness, I can facilitate a respectful decision to separate or consciously uncouple.
OPEN RELATIONSHIPS
I suppose the big question on the tip of everyone’s tongue, who’s involved in the non-traditional relationship is am I poly friendly?
The answer, of course, is absolutely. I can help you navigate through all unusual situations, whether you’re in a polycule, have multiple relationships, or are just dating several people.
The next logical question is can you bring everyone to the office? As long as I have space — and I do have a decent amount of space, you can bring them.
Some people bring their cats, or well behaved dogs for emotional support. This is also ok. Just let me know before hand so I can vacuum after.