Sex coach & intimacy mentor · San Diego & by video
Learn intimacy the way nobody ever taught you, from a sex coach and mentor who shows you how. Women and couples come to me when the passion has faded, sex has gone mechanical, and more talking hasn’t fixed it. Most feel the difference within a few sessions.
Not sure yet? Book a free 15-minute call first.
In their words
“His personalized coaching is really sort of magical.”
After 14 years of marriage, we wanted to spice things up. Perfect for couples trapped in the day-to-day of kids, work, chores. Go see Tari sooner rather than later.
Audra Rosenberg · San Diego“Tari truly changed our marriage.”
We felt more like roommates juggling work and parenting than partners. Traditional couples therapy made no real progress. Five stars without hesitation.
Julia Cohen · San Diego“He’s a wizard with what women want.”
Stronger connection after just one session. We’ve been to many therapists over the years. He’s worth every penny.
Nikki V.What brings people here
One mentor for desire, technique, confidence and the conversations you’ve been avoiding, so you never have to tell your story to three different specialists.
Low libido, mismatched drives, “I love you but I’m never in the mood.” You live like roommates, and sex turned into a chore or stopped altogether.
Creating chemistry from nothing, touching sensually or firmly, building tension, lasting longer, staying hard, and what to do with your hands besides the one move you already know.
You want him more confident and assertive, in the way you like. He learns to read you and build tension, and you learn to ask for what you want without apologizing for wanting it.
Initiating without it feeling like a transaction, asking for something new without shame, naming a fantasy for the first time, with me mediating so it doesn’t become a fight.
Rebuilding your sexuality after a divorce, a long dry spell, or a relationship that taught you to shut down: your pleasure, your orgasm, toys, and what you want next.
Trust rebuilt, resentment cleared with a mediator, and chemistry built while you’re both here, starting in your first session.
How it works
$350 for your first hour, and as little as $250 an hour with a package, by video or in my private San Diego studio. Fill out the intake beforehand if you like; I read every one before we meet, so we skip the retelling.
Some clients only ever talk. Others want to be shown eye contact, pressure, pacing, how to lead and how to follow. I explain every exercise first, and nothing happens without your yes.
Exact words, touch and homework for the week ahead. Most people feel the shift within one to five sessions, and you decide whether to keep going.
Why it works faster
You learned to dance by dancing. Desire works the same way, which is why years of talking about it leave most couples exactly where they started.
Reading about chemistry has never brought it back for anyone. I demonstrate it, guide you through it, and build it with you while you’re here.
Thirty-five years of dance, gymnastics, yoga, acrobatics, circus and Thai massage. I trained in touch and presence long before I taught them.
We talk about sex directly and without crudeness: clean, intelligent work on the one skill everyone wants and nobody was taught.
Stay in conversation the whole time, or ask to be shown. You decide how far each session goes, every time.
Your intimacy mentor
“I created Closeness because nobody teaches this depth of work with clarity and ease. Not school, not parents, not the internet, and too often, not therapy either.”
For more than a decade I’ve mentored women and couples in San Diego through the most delicate subjects in a relationship, and made them discussable, teachable and fixable. Desire, arousal, communication, breakups: if your question lives anywhere near the bedroom, you’re in the right place.
I host the Closeness Podcast, with hundreds of free episodes, and when I’m not with clients I’m usually upside down, teaching acrobatics on the San Diego coast. I hope you’ll have a lot of fun in the process.
Meet me before you book me
Start here
How I work
Inside a session
Logistics
The Closeness Standard
Everything I teach runs on consent. Desire gets invited, never demanded. You open to a partner who makes you want to: someone present, patient, and sure enough of himself to lead without pushing. Pressure gets compliance, the kind of sex you go along with and want a little less of every year. Every exercise in my studio is optional, explained before it begins, and run at your pace. When you know you can say no at any moment, you can finally say yes and mean all of it.
Closeness is professional intimacy mentoring and education. It isn’t a sex shop, an escort or massage service, or a substitute for licensed therapy or medical care. The Fine Print
The studio
Nobody relaxes enough to talk about touch and nerves in a beige room under fluorescent light, so I built the opposite: a vaulted ceiling, a deep velvet sofa, mood lighting, oversized down pillows, a tantra chair and a private restroom.
Two HEPA filters, heat in winter, AC in summer, and Voss, Pellegrino or a sparkling pineapple spritzer waiting on request. Discretion is built in, starting with a private exit. The address arrives once you’ve booked.
Serving San Diego and Los Angeles in person, and everywhere else by video.
Your investment
Book by the hour. Most sessions run 90 minutes to two hours, and after the first hour you pay only for the time we use, in 20-minute blocks. A 90-minute session is $525, not $700.
Your first hour, by video or in the studio
Four sessions for the price of three
$300 an hour, spaced however you like
$250 an hour, and that rate stays yours
Up to four hours a month plus a private text line
When you want a clear answer
If you’re not ready for regular sessions yet, these two give you a written answer about what’s going on and what to do next.
Two weeks with both of you, together and separately, with specific things to do in between. At the end, I tell you in writing whether I think things are going to change and what it will take. The full $2,500 counts toward longer work with me.
See The Verdict
Fill out my free intake, and I’ll write you a signed, three to four page letter about what I see in your answers, what’s keeping you stuck and the first thing I’d do about it.
See The ReadOr start on your own
Not ready to book a session? Practice the work at home with your partner, or send me one question and hear my answer privately.
Twelve lessons for him, practiced with her, at home and at your own pace. Each one comes with exercises spelled out step by step, and she gets her own part in every lesson.
Write me the thing you haven’t said out loud to anyone. I’ll answer you in a private voice note or a private video, recorded for you alone.
How to know you’re ready
This work moves fast when the person sitting across from me is ready for it. If the right-hand column sounds like you, wait. I’d rather earn you later than waste your money now.
Your first step
Pick a time that works, by video or in the studio. Your first hour is $350 and fully refundable up to 24 hours before we meet.
Not ready yet? Take the free 5-minute relationship quiz, or start with the podcast.
Optional · free
A complete picture of your intimate life, or yours and your partner’s, before we ever sit down. I read every one personally, so your first session starts with the work instead of the backstory. Most people learn something about themselves just by filling it out.
Begin the IntakeCloseness offers sex, intimacy and relationship mentoring across San Diego and Southern California, including La Jolla, Del Mar, Hillcrest, North Park, Encinitas, Rancho Santa Fe, Downtown, Little Italy and North County, and by Zoom or FaceTime anywhere. In-person sessions take place in a private studio in San Diego. Sex coaching in San Diego · An alternative to sex therapy · Reviving a sexless marriage