California’s #1 rated sex coach & intimacy mentor · San Diego & by video
Intimacy is a skill, but it’s something we are never taught. At least not how to do it well. Women and couples come to me when the passion has faded, sex has become nonexistent or mechanical, and more talking, even with a therapist or couples counselor, hasn’t fixed it. Most feel the difference within a few sessions.
Not sure yet? Book a free 15-minute call first.
Sex & intimacy coaching · private courses for couples
Closeness is where couples come for sex and intimacy coaching, intimacy mentoring and frank, practical answers about everything sexual. It’s also where you can learn on your own, in the privacy of your home: short, Tastefully Rated X courses on how to touch, how to kiss, how to lead in bed, how to play, and how to stay steady when things get hard.
Start with one course, or try them all. Play the games together. Give one as a gift. And when you’re ready, if you want more, work with me one-on-one, in San Diego or by video anywhere.
Six courses for couples from $79 · All six plus the Come Closer deck, $497
New from Closeness · $45
All Hands on Deck
One hundred cards for the questions you’ve never asked each other, from playful to forbidden. Every card has its own artwork and a second part that goes further, and there’s a game for two built in.
New from Closeness · The Course
the way she wants it
Half the women who come to me want their partner to take the lead, and most men were never shown how. Twenty lessons on your eyes, your voice and your hands: how to build sexual tension, how to move her, and what to do with her from the first look to the last touch.
Tastefully Rated X · For adults 18 and over
In their words
★★★★★
After 14 years of marriage, we wanted to spice things up and learn how to get the most out of our relationship. Tari has a unique understanding of how to build chemistry and talk collaboratively about any sensitive or taboo topic.
★★★★★
Tari helped my husband and I create stronger connection in our relationship after just one session. … We’ve been to many therapists throughout the years and let’s just say he’s worth every penny.
★★★★★
My husband and I had a one hour session with Tari. The gentle guidance he gave us felt very safe, intuitive, honest and authentic. His words and insight completely resonated with us.
What brings people here
One mentor for desire, technique, confidence and the conversations you’ve been avoiding, so you never have to tell your story to three different specialists.
Low libido, mismatched drives, “I love you but I’m never in the mood.” You live like roommates, and sex turned into a chore or stopped altogether.
Creating chemistry from nothing, touching sensually or firmly, building tension, lasting longer, staying hard, and what to do with your hands besides the one move you already know.
You want him more confident and assertive, in the way you like. He learns to read you and build tension, and you learn to ask for what you want without apologizing for wanting it.
Initiating without it feeling like a transaction, asking for something new without shame, naming a fantasy for the first time, with me mediating so it doesn’t become a fight.
Rebuilding your sexuality after a divorce, a long dry spell, or a relationship that taught you to shut down: your pleasure, your orgasm, toys, and what you want next.
Trust rebuilt, resentment cleared with a mediator, and chemistry built while you’re both here, starting in your first session.
How it works
$350 for your first hour, and as little as $250 an hour with a package, by video or in my private San Diego studio. Fill out the intake beforehand if you like; I read every one before we meet, so we skip the retelling.
Some clients only ever talk. Others want to practice eye contact, pressure, pacing, how to lead and how to follow while I guide them. I explain every exercise first, and nothing happens without your yes.
Exact words, touch and homework for the week ahead. Most people feel the shift within one to five sessions, and you decide whether to keep going.
Why it works faster
You learned to dance by dancing. Desire works the same way, which is why years of talking about it leave most couples exactly where they started.
Reading about chemistry has never brought it back for anyone. I guide you through it, and you build it during the session.
Thirty-five years of movement, body awareness and presence, through dance, yoga, Pilates, handstands, circus, acrobatics and Thai massage. I trained in touch long before I taught it.
We talk about sex directly and without crudeness: clean, intelligent work on the one skill everyone wants and nobody was taught.
Stay in conversation the whole time, or ask for an exercise. You decide how far each session goes, every time.
Your intimacy mentor
“I created Closeness because nobody teaches this depth of work with clarity and ease. Not school, not parents, not the internet, and too often, not therapy either.”
For more than a decade I’ve mentored women and couples in San Diego through the most delicate subjects in a relationship, and made them discussable, teachable and fixable. Desire, arousal, communication, breakups: if your question lives anywhere near the bedroom, you’re in the right place.
I host the Closeness Podcast, with hundreds of free videos, and when I’m not with clients I’m usually upside down, teaching acrobatics on the San Diego coast. I hope you’ll have a lot of fun in the process.
Meet me before you book me
Start here
How I work
Inside a session
Logistics
The Closeness Standard
Everything I teach runs on consent. Desire gets invited, never demanded. You open to a partner who makes you want to: someone present, patient, and sure enough of himself to lead without pushing. Pressure gets compliance, the kind of sex you go along with and want a little less of every year. Every exercise in my studio is optional, explained before it begins, and run at your pace. When you know you can say no at any moment, you can finally say yes and mean all of it.
Closeness is professional intimacy mentoring and education. It isn’t a sex shop, an escort or massage service, or a substitute for licensed therapy or medical care. The Fine Print
The studio
Nobody relaxes enough to talk about touch and nerves in a beige room under fluorescent light, so I built the opposite: a vaulted ceiling, a deep velvet sofa, mood lighting, oversized down pillows, a tantra chair and a private restroom.
Two HEPA filters, heat in winter, AC in summer, and Voss, Pellegrino or a sparkling pineapple spritzer waiting on request. Discretion is built in, starting with a private exit. The address arrives once you’ve booked.
Serving San Diego and Los Angeles in person, and everywhere else by video.
In their words
★★★★★
My husband and I showed up in crisis ready for divorce and left 3 sessions later with a better understanding of each other’s needs than when we married 17 years ago! I cannot scream praises loud enough! Want to improve your “intimacy” prowess or find healing for your relationship? Tari is your man!
★★★★★
We loved each other deeply, but we felt more like roommates juggling work and parenting than partners. We had tried traditional couples therapy together and individually, but we just weren’t making real progress.
★★★★★
I was feeling invisible, hopeless. Within minutes of hearing him speak the truth about intimacy, desire, and closeness, I knew that I had not only found a detailed map of this critical information, but also an experienced guide to workshop the territory.
Wherever you live
I work with women, men and couples by video wherever they live, and in person in my private studio in San Diego. Sessions are scheduled in your time zone, early mornings and evenings included, and the conversation is just as close and just as frank as it would be across the room from me.
No. I work with clients by video across the United States and around the world. Sessions are private and scheduled in your time zone.
For conversation, desire, seduction, planning and getting to the truth about your relationship, yes. For hands-on practice, I guide couples on video while they practice with each other at home, or you can come to my studio.
Yes. Couples can fly in for a few longer sessions over two or three days in my private San Diego studio, and I can also come to you: $1,000 plus travel. Text me to plan it.
Completely. Everything you share stays between us, and I never discuss clients with anyone.
No. Sessions are $350 an hour, or as little as $250 an hour with a package, wherever you live.
Your investment
Most people start with private sessions, by the hour. Sessions usually run 90 minutes to two hours, and after the first hour you pay only for the time we use, in 20-minute blocks.
There’s more: hour packages, The Verdict for couples deciding whether to stay, private voice and video answers, and programs you can do at home from $29.
When you want a clear answer
If you’re not ready for regular sessions yet, these two give you a clear answer about what’s going on and what to do next.
For couples · Two weeks · $2,500
Two weeks with both of you, together and separately, with specific things to do in between. At the end, you each say what you’ve decided, in your own words, and I tell you what it will take. Start Close Quarters within two weeks after and your first month is $200 off.
For one person · In writing · $150
Fill out my free intake, and I’ll write you a signed, three to four page letter about what I see in your answers, what’s keeping you stuck and the first thing I’d do about it.
Or start on your own
Not ready to book a session? Practice the work at home with your partner, or send me one question and hear my answer privately.
How to Stop Fighting · $197
Fifteen lessons for him, practiced with her, at home and at your own pace. Each one comes with exercises spelled out step by step, and she gets her own part in every lesson.
No appointment · Private
Write me the thing you haven’t said out loud to anyone. I’ll answer you in a private voice note or a private video, recorded for you alone.
Or ask Tari AI any hour, on Telegram, for $29 a month: my teaching, in my words, built from every course and episode.
Free, every week
Hundreds of hours of free lessons, stories and straight answers. Pick the way you like to learn.
How to know you’re ready
This work moves fast when the person sitting across from me is ready for it. If the right-hand column sounds like you, wait. I’d rather earn you later than waste your money now.
Your first step
Pick a time that works, by video or in the studio. Sessions are $350 an hour, or as little as $250 an hour with a package, and you can cancel for a full refund up to 24 hours before we meet.
Not ready yet? Take the free 5-minute relationship quiz, or start with the podcast.
Optional · free
A complete picture of your intimate life, or yours and your partner’s, before we ever sit down. I read every one personally, so your first session starts with the work instead of the backstory. Most people learn something about themselves just by filling it out.
Begin the IntakeCloseness offers sex, intimacy and relationship mentoring across San Diego and Southern California, including La Jolla, Del Mar, Hillcrest, North Park, Encinitas, Rancho Santa Fe, Downtown, Little Italy and North County, and by Zoom or FaceTime anywhere. In-person sessions take place in a private studio in San Diego. Sex coaching in San Diego · An alternative to sex therapy · Reviving a sexless marriage
