Words That Don’t Serve: Phrases We Can Stop Saying in Relationships
Language is powerful—it can build connection, but it can also create distance. Unfortunately, our daily conversations are often cluttered with filler words, passive-aggressive jabs, and expressions that serve no one. In this episode, we’re taking a closer look at phrases you simply don’t need to say anymore, especially to your partner. From thoughtless throwaway lines to phrases that diminish connection, you’ll learn how trimming the verbal fat can improve the way you communicate and connect.
Stop Saying Things That Mean Nothing
Phrases like “I don’t care,” “It depends,” or “It is what it is” may feel harmless, but they add nothing to a conversation. Saying “it depends” is the verbal equivalent of shrugging your shoulders—it’s a knee-jerk response that offers no new information. Similarly, “I just can’t explain it” or “I can’t imagine it” is rarely true—if you try, you usually can explain or imagine. These empty phrases stall intimacy instead of building it. The lesson? Be intentional. If you’re asked a question, take a moment to articulate a thoughtful answer.
Avoid Expressions That Undermine Connection
Some phrases we use to sound honest or relatable actually undermine the moment. For example, if you’re intimate with someone for the first time, saying “I can’t believe I’m doing this” or “I’m normally not like this” likely doesn’t have the effect you think it will and may make you sound insincere or immature. These statements can leave your partner wondering, “Do they say this to everyone?” Instead, lean into the moment without disclaimers—let your actions speak for themselves.
Similarly, phrases like “Don’t judge me” or “Who hurt you?” can be dismissive. Everyone judges—it’s part of being human—and asking someone “Who hurt you?” when they’re sharing something vulnerable minimizes their experience. A better approach is to listen, validate their feelings, and keep judgment-free curiosity at the center of your communication.
Words That Don’t Make You Special
Some expressions are more about ego than connection. Saying “I’m so picky” when it comes to dating, or referring to yourself as a “goddess” or “deity,” doesn’t make you look confident—but rather may appear performative. The truth is, most people have high standards, and most relationships are complicated. Instead of leaning on cliché phrases like “It’s complicated,” take the time to express what you actually feel. Clear, direct communication will always win over vague or over-the-top language.
Speak With Intention
The takeaway? Communication is about connection. Every word you say carries weight, so stop using phrases that stall intimacy, minimize others’ experiences, or serve no real purpose. Instead, aim for clarity, thoughtfulness, and authenticity in your conversations. By removing filler and owning what you say, you’ll not only sound more confident—you’ll create deeper, more meaningful connections with the people around you.
Ready to clean up your communication? Tune in to this episode for practical examples and actionable advice. For more tips on relationships, intimacy, and connection, visit Closeness.com. Let’s get closer—without the filler. 🌟
CHAPTERS
0:00 Intro
6:08 So you you don’t care?
7:00 Words Carry Power
8:05 I don’t sugar coat
10:51 Emoji
12:21 Who hurt you
13:36 That’s cute
17:26 It is what it is
19:55 Like I said
22:44 All filler words to speak air
26:10 I feel like rather than I know
30:32 Next time
31:10 It depends
33:20 I just couldn’t imagine if it hasn’t happened yet
34:42 I can’t explain it…
37:16 I am so picky
38:52 Narcissism and misogyny
40:16 Firing back
42:08 Just curious
44:28 I am not like all those other girls
46:22 Who hurt you and why are you so jaded
47:54 I can’t believe I am doing this
49:30 Whatever is meant to happen will happen
51:28 I need someone who has their shizz together
54:48 Big D energy, vibing etc
56:28 Creating fights from nothing
57:08 Don’t judge me
1:01:18 I don’t want to argue
1:02:50 It’s complicated
1:03:38 God’s, goddesses, divine deity syndrome
1:05:40 Flipping the script or stealing their thunder
