Solving Conflict (Part 1)
In this episode, we explore the messy world of arguments, manipulation tactics, and how to resolve conflict in a better and more healthy way than what you’re used to. Whether you’re interrogating your partner, misinterpreting their actions, or are stuck in a cycle of accusations, this episode will help you reimagine how you approach disagreements and poor reactions.
Questioning, Tone, and Playing Fair
One mistake in couples quarrels is asking questions you don’t really want to hear or know the answers to as this often leads to resentment and escalated tension. Similarly, interrogating your partner with accusatory remarks, and implying manipulatively that they did something wrong to bate and test them is a surefire way to spark defensiveness or even bring a relationship to a screeching halt. Your tone also plays a huge role in how your message is received. Even valid concerns can feel like attacks when delivered with the wrong energy. Remember, fairness in fights is critical: are you arguing the point, or are you trying to argue all sides to win?
Stop Accusing, Start Understanding
Accusations, implications, and insinuations are relationship kryptonite. If you’re constantly accusing your partner of things they haven’t done or are implying wrongdoing without knowing all or any of the facts, you are killing your relationship. Humans are notmind readers—if you need something, say it clearly instead of assuming they should “just know how I feel or what they should have done.”
And while feelings are valid and certainly may matter to you, they’re not always accurate. Taking a moment to question whether your emotions are driven by actual intuition or fear before launching into an argument can work wonders.
Gaslighting, Reverse Gaslighting, and Intuition
Everyone thinks everyone is gas lighting these days. But when it actually happens, gaslighting can destroy trust in a relationship. This episode also introduces the concept of “reverse gaslighting.” It’s a reminder that being “right” in an argument doesn’t always matter if your partner is left feeling unseen or unheard. Intuition is powerful, but be honest with yourself: is it really intuition, or are you letting fear cloud your judgment?
It’s not about blame, but rather about harnessing the ability to recognize destructive patterns and build healthier ways to communicate. Fighting doesn’t have to be the end of intimacy connection—it can be the beginning of understanding.
Ready to Come Closer?
Check out today’s episode to learn how to navigate arguments, avoid manipulative tactics, and build a stronger connection with your partner. Visit Closeness.com for more tips on love, intimacy, and communication.
CHAPTERS:
0:00 Intro
2:00 Asking questions you don’t want the answer to
10:12 Questioning and interrogating
12:00 A tool to indentify the style of questions you’re being asked
15:05 Your tone matters
18:10 The best tool for asking the right questions
21:55 When the person asking you questions also punishes you
24:35 You’re not obligated to answer every question asked of you
26:30 Fabricating stories that never happened
32:56 Are you playing fair?
39:30 Gaslighting
42:00 “Reverse Gaslighting”
47:35 Do inaccurate or wrong feeligns matter?
52:45 Accsations, implications, insinautions and inferences
55:10 People aren’t mind readers
58:25 You’re not always right
1:00:15 Is it your intuition or is it fear?
1:09:10 Winding down
Subscribe to Closeness on YouTube:
