Surviving a Breakup: How to Survive, Heal and Move Forward
Breakups are one of the toughest emotional challenges we face. Whether it’s heartbreak, loss, or simply the difficulty of letting go, the aftermath can shatter us and feel overwhelming. In this 90-minute episode, we tackle the raw emotions and practical steps needed to help you navigate and heal from a breakup. From understanding grief to recognizing harmful distractions, this episode is your guide to finding relief and clarity during one of life’s most challenging transitions.
The Emotional Rollercoaster of a Breakup
In the midst of a breakup, it’s easy to slip into patterns of resentment, searching for reasons to dislike your ex as a way to move on. In fact many people convince themselves that they hate or despise this person in order to try to get them out of their heads.
But true healing requires more than anger—it requires grieving. It requires SELF reflection. The common advice that “time heals all wounds” often feels unhelpful because time alone isn’t enough. Healing demands intentional effort, self-reflection, and avoiding the trap of unhealthy distractions.
Instead of numbing the pain with temporary fixes, we explore the importance of self-soothing and finding genuine relief.
What Not to Do During Healing
Breakups can tempt us into destructive behaviors, from holding onto old possessions, to treating ourselves and bodies poorly, to making the wrong choices with other intimate partners. Sometimes we’ll on the wrong kind of friends who either think we can do no wrong, or aren’t as supportive as we need.
This episode helps you separate helpful coping mechanisms from harmful distractions. For example, surrounding yourself with supportive, emotionally intelligent but honest friends can provide solace, while seeking validation from an ex or toxic relationships often leads to more pain.
Feng Shui principles, such as letting go of items tied to the past, can also help create emotional clarity and a sense of renewal.
Lessons in Reflection and Growth
The aftermath of a breakup often reveals truths we ignored during the relationship. Reflecting on how your ex treats you—both during and after the split—can be eye-opening. Were they always kind? Did they attack you constantly for seemingly no reason? Did they gaslight you? Were they selfish or dismissive of your needs? Do they constantly talk over you. Recognizing these patterns helps you avoid repeating the same mistakes in future relationships.
This episode also tackles deeper dynamics, such as what happens when one partner loves more than the other and why people often lie to protect themselves during difficult times.
Breakups don’t have to mean endless suffering however. By understanding the grieving process, giving yourself the right kind of self love and space, avoiding common pitfalls, and focusing on self-growth, you can emerge stronger and more self-aware. Perhaps you’ll even be more vulnerable and conscious of others around you too.
Are you actually Ready to Heal?
For actionable advice, emotional insights, and a roadmap to recovery, tune into this episode and take the first steps toward moving forward. Visit Closeness.com for more resources on relationships, intimacy, and personal growth.
CHAPTERS 0:00
Intro 2:45
You are probably in crisis right now
7:09 We look for ways to resent our partner to get over them
8:05 Understanding the emotional scale 9:08 There must be a grieving process
10:20 The disaster of distracting yourself vs healing yourself
12:14 The age old adage, that everything heals with time is not helpful
14:45 How to self soothe and search for relief
17:33 Avoiding unhealthy distractions
24:39 How can you separate distractions from helpful actions to occupy your mind or time?
30:09 Things to not do during your healing process
35:00 The kinds of friends you should seek solace from
39:14 Feng Shui and letting of old possessions
41:05 Questions to reflect on
43:02 It’s the aftermath of a breakup that makes spending time together impossible
48:01 Trying to be with or supportive of your ex while they are reeling
50:01 The loss of all terms of endearment
51:43 Pay attention to how they treat you during and after a breakup
54:19 We never want to talk about it when things are going well
57:27 We don’t need to suffer so deeply to experience the highest of highs
59:15 When you like or love your partner more than they like or love you
1:00:42 The person who loves you less will tend to gaslight and attack you
1:06:10 People are selfish
1:08:26 You’re never going to get what you want when you need it most
1:17:07 People lie… incessantly
1:22:21 In lying to and deceiving your partner, you will lead them on
1:26:36 When they tell you they need space…