Have you ever been accused of “playing games” or not being upfront? For many of us, the challenge lies in uttering three deceptively simple words: I’m not interested. This single sentence has the power to save both time and heartache—for you and for others.
If we’re honest, ignoring someone’s advances often does convey disinterest, but only part of the time. In other cases, our silence could be rooted in poor communication skills, shyness, or even uncertainty about our own feelings.
Instead of clearly expressing interest—or politely declining—we often respond to invitations with baffling, irrelevant updates about our physical location. When someone asks you out and your response is, “I’m in the shower,” “I’m at work,” or “I’m at the beach,” you’re not just speaking in fragments—you’re unintentionally sabotaging your chances.
These non-answers leave your suitor confused and discouraged, making it seem as though you’re brushing them off in a manipulative way, even if that wasn’t your intent. The solution? A simple yet transformative addition: but.
“I’m not interested, BUT I’d love to see you as a friend.”
“I’m busy tonight, BUT tomorrow works perfectly!”
By using “but,” you can turn down an invitation while still leaving the door open for clarity, connection, or future opportunities.
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